Potentially Met My Soul Mate - But Im Married to Someone Else!

Well, justdon't know, it is always easier to end a relationship when you have a lover in the wings. I speak from experience. If you REALLY want to figure out what is right, be with no one for at least 6 months. Go to counselling and work through your issues because no matter how you look at this, you have a big part in how you attracted this person, why you stayed when you shouldn't have and why you slept with someone one second after a fight with your wife. I'm not trying to sound cruel but come on, jumping from your wife to your "soul mate" is not fair to you, your soulmate, your wife or your son. I use to beleive that we stay and work it out no matter what for the sake of the children. But if you haven't tried everything, which it doesn't really sound like it, then suck it up and remember your vows. For better or worse. Your wife has a lot of issues to work through and granted you might not make it after all of the counselling but at least you can say you tried. At least one day you can tell your son that you did everything you could to make your marriage work.

Good luck,

well, you laid it all out there. i commend you for that. hopefully young folks headstrong with thoughts of marriage will read this and learn what not to do.

i noted you've not even expressed your love for this woman, though she has bore your beloved son.

i didn't truly understand just how a father sexually abusing his beloved daughter could affect EVERYONE in the family...til my older sister confessed to me my stepfather had done that to her for years! she began to share herself with his military buddies as a sense of control knowing it enraged him. she was barely a teen!

i won't bore you with the psychological mind f*ck this has had on my sister and how it has strained our relationship because she became religiously fanatical as a result. i'm the devil to her now. but, i know that isn't my sister.

it takes a VERY special, understanding man who knows what true love is to be able to remain by the side of such a pained spirit. he sees through her constant torment and remains steadfast by her side because he sees her through the pain that often clouds her spirit.

you do not deserve your wife. you certainly don't love, understand, nor even know her. she needs someone who truly does or wants to. you've compounded the "painful?" feelings you already had with infidelity instead of resolving your current crisis. i normally embrace honesty, but in light of your wife's history, i implore you to NOT find a sense of honor now and confess this. that might absolutely destroy her.

can you now get your sexual urges and amorous feelings for another under control long enough to do the right thing...as you no doubt already know what you want to do? your wife doesn't deserve to continue to be lied to about your feelings.

time for you two to talk as responsible adults and prepare to accept the consequences for the hard decisions to come. can you keep that thing in your pants long enough to do this, justdontknow? you don't deserve her, but try not to compound the pain she's already gonna have when you inevitably leave by having an affair, please.

let her go and pursue what you believe will make you happy.

My advice is to take the lover out of the equation as much as you possibly can and decide about your marriage on its own merits. Is it a relationship worth saving, or not?

The last thing you would want to do would be to end an otherwise salvageable marriage for someone else and then have that person unwilling to commit to you, or see later that things with that person are not all of what they seem.

Thanks for your honesty and openess people.