I Need Your Opinon?

I know how you feel and it is true about the outside influences IF the both of you let it get between you guys though. It has gone too far but if both of you are happy with just seperating and not divorcing, why not! And if your child is also happy even better!

Share the areas ofinterest you looked for in seperate encounters. Communicating your needs and desires brings you closer.

Share the areas ofinterest you looked for in seperate encounters. Communicating your needs and desires brings you closer.

I know what you mean when you ask can a marriage be too broken to fix. I often feel that me and my husband will never again have that chemistry that we once had. We have had a lot of difficulties over the past four years and now there is a massive barrier between us. I cant communicate with him at all and he often avoids me which hurts a lot.

I do try and make life easier between us but I know deep in my heart that our marriage does not have a future, there is too much negative history. It breaks my heart that I will never be his special girl again.

I wish you luck I hope it works out for you.

My two cents: It is always salvagable unless it gets to the point where staying in the marriage is more toxic to your kids then ending it.
It could take a lot of time, and may not happen unless both are willing to try. It could be that each of you needs to go you're seprerate ways for a while to rediscover what it was about each other that attracted you in the begining.
Good luck.

It sounds as though you have both done some serious damage to your marriage.

You mention that you "trust" one another as parents but that your fighting and resentment got really bad. Meaning that the trust you have in each other (the trust not related to your kid) is broken.

So what you really have between you is a mutual interest in doing what is right for your child.

So is this enough to become a basis for the rest of your marriage?

It might be but it will take some serious work and effort on both your parts. And you would both have to be committed to the effort. Can you both do that? Can you agree to put aside the past and work towards the future together? Think carefully about this because it is all too easy to say "yes I can" and not really understand what you are asking of yourself.

After 20 years of marriage (most of it bad) I can tell you that you can love the person you are married to but "love" does not make everything right. "love" is only a small portion of the equation.

My husband and I are very companionable. Intellectually we hit the mark together and I can talk to him for hours about all kinds of subjects. It feels good to hang out together and gives me a sense that we are in love and everything is OK.
But beyond that we fall apart. He has little respect for me on many issues and essentially wants to "rule" the house as his right as a man. He wants veto power on all decisions and gets angry when i voice my own opinions. If he decides something well then, that it! End of discussion.

If I disagree strongly enough to make a stink about it - well then look out because then I have to accept some abuse along with my defiance.

My point is that - though I can trust my husband to want the best for my son, and though it feels good to hang out with him - we have no basis for a real marriage.
At least not the kind of marriage i want.

I urge you to look at your marriage as a many faceted thing. Look at it from all sides and see if you can determine what your life is like in all areas.

But if you decide to stay and he is willing, go to a marital counselor. Actually, do that before you decide to stay together. You need to determine if you can work past the broken trust and recriminations between you before you can decide if you can forge a life together.