I Dont Know If I Should Go Or Not.

Here goes...

Im 22 and i live at home with my mum.
Well i suppose i should start this story from the begining.
About 2-3 years ago, i met my big brother (half brother, same mother, long story)
And hes amazing! He has a wife and 2 kids (6 & 4month old)
He lives in England and i live in Scotland so i can only visit him every few months and about 3 weeks ago, i went down to stay with them, without my mum for a week.
And since ive been home, ive been absolutely miserable.
I hate that im going to miss my nephew and niece grow up.
Ive already missed so much.
And i want to get to know my brother better, even though it feels like ive known him my whole life!
And i just miss them so much it hurts.
Ive never had a proper family before.
My uncles arent interested, i was an only child and my dad was in and out of my life from young but i am so close to my mum. Shes like my mum/sister/best friend.

So ive been considering moving to the town were they live.

To back this idea up, i just broke up with my Fiance of 9 months.
We got engaged too early in the relationship (6months) and i think im too young but at the time i didnt think anyone would ever want to marry me so i was blown away by the idea of it..
It doesnt help that hes a very arguementative/agressive person and im just not.
So after arguing every day for months i tried and tried to get out the relationship which he made very hard for me.
He even threatened on a few occasions to kill himself.
Eventually one day i gave in and was strong enough to do it.
Since then he's been hard work. Phoning me/texting me/emailing me so much. I just want him to leave me alone.

I quit my job when we got together and havent had one since.
So im going nuts not working and having no money!
It's just so hard to get a job these days.

I just feel like a fresh start might be the thing i need to get my life sorted.
Ive always just sort of floated along.

My friends have been amazing but at this age, everyones starting to pair off so i feel so completely loney.

I feel like i cant leave my mum though.
My stepdad died of cancer about a year and half ago and although she has found someone else who makes her happy (although she thinks he might be unfaithful, yet not proven)
I just cant leave her.
But at the back of my head, i feel like i have to do this for myself, i just dont know what to do!

Kittenlittle Kittenlittle
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

hi my name is liaqat and i am in UAE at the moment, would like to be friends, i can also be reached on virgono1@hotmail<br />
Also may be I can help you come here to UAE as well.