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I Think I'm Living the Wrong Life.

I don't always feel like this.  It comes in waves.  I seem to be swallowed up in it today. 

I'm thinking today that I got married too young and for the wrong reasons.  I do love him and we have two wonderful children together.  But, I got married to be able to leave home.  He saved me from the house that was slowly making me crazy.  I never had time to find out who I was on my own.  We had children quickly and now with one on the way to college I don't know where I fit in the world. I don't have a career, I don't have any hobbies really.  I exist to clean, feed and support the people who live in my house. 

I'm empty, passionless.  Shouldn't there be more to this life thing?

dontask dontask 36-40, F 10 Responses Oct 6, 2008

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I know im in the wrong life, i am desperately trying to find people interested in the same things as me so we could have a mission/purpose in life other than the mundane tasks of everyday living....i often have those waves of "Ive gotta get out of here, this isnt living....." however with children that depend on me I must fulfill this urge in a more sensible manner......anyone got any ideas on how to find like minded friends of a cerebral nature, who are available enough to find some passion in their lives?????

I think a lot of people today are disenchanted with their lives and the choices they have made. You are not alone. You have other people who are depending oon you to help them develop and grow. YOU ARE NO LONGER A SINGLE ENTITY! You took the role as mother willingly, now live it out.

The only important thing in life is the love of those around you. Use that love to springboard you to find more fun. Never leave them. Provide your family with tough love about being less lazy and sharing the housework. Do what you are good at. If you need a challenge or more education go for it.



Research says that early marriages are the most successful. Every long term relationship goes though doubts. The truth is that no relationship is perfect. However if a relationship is bullying, abusive, cruel or violent then it is important to leave.



Lives are not perfect but if its not right for you, find the right path, but do not leave a trail of wreckage behind you. You have responsiblities as well as rights. Children's safety and happiness comes first, then others, then yourself.

The only important thing in life is the love of those around you. Use that love to springboard you to find more fun. Never leave them. Provide your family with tough love about being less lazy and sharing the housework. Do what you are good at. If you need a challenge or more education go for it.



Research says that early marriages are the most successful. Every long term relationship goes though doubts. The truth is that no relationship is perfect. However if a relationship is bullying, abusive, cruel or violent then it is important to leave.



Lives are not perfect but if its not right for you, find the right path, but do not leave a trail of wreckage behind you. You have responsiblities as well as rights. Children's safety and happiness comes first, then others, then yourself.

So, this is from two years ago... how are you feeling now? Does it get better, does one adjust? I'm in kind of the same place and wondering how it turns out...

That is the story of my first marriage. I married young to get away from my crazy house and crazy mother. My story is a bit different, I chose not to have kids with my first husband, we divorced 8 years after the wedding and I remarried to someone I am more suited for and we have kids together.



I married too young and for the wrong reasons, my mother I suspect has OCBP and I was not nearly mature enough to be married at that time. I had alot of healing to do first from my difficult mother.

It is not too late. Plenty of women go back to college and learn something new at your age. My wife went back to work and has returned to college this year at age 38 and she is really enjoying it. She rented a small place about an hour from our home and she goes there to have some time away for a few days each week. I won't lie to you, our relationship has suffered as a result of her trying to find her self and be more independent. But, she is most definitely happier now, and I am happier for her...

Wow Peter! Thank you so much for your thoughtful and sensitive post. He is a wonderful husband. He does have my best interests at heart and is always there to support me.

It's really just me. I'm afraid Im teatering on the edge of relevancy and it's just too late.

Hey Dontask, don't fret you are not alone. My wife, whom I met and started dating at 18 yrs of age, is now about your age and going through a lot of the same stuff. It has been a rough year and I am losing hope that we will make it out as a couple. But, I am having hope that we will find ourselves and some personal happiness and fulfillment separate from each other. I'm not angry at her and I do not blame her for the way she feels. It is just part of the life cycle that women in our society have to go through. Unfortuneately, Your feelings are not at all uncommon. You have already given the best years of your life to your husband, he should recognize that and work with you to help you find your own personal happiness whatever that may be.

*sniff* thanks Cali...I know it probably sounds like I'm whining. I just don't know where to start and I'm afraid that if I find something I'm truly passionate about, I'll fail and then where will that leave me? Geez...I need a whole gallon of Ben and Jerry's