Lost

I am new to this but I moved for love almost two years ago and don't really have many friends around here so just needed to vent. I have two beautiful children that I love dearly and I live with a man who I love dearly. Dearly might not be the right word to describe it.. passionately, yeah that sounds about right. Although I love him very much we have had a lot of issues mostly dealing with what I like to refer to as, "ghost of girlfriends past". He has difficulty letting his ex's go and still talks to them from time to time and not just hey but relentless flirting (I will get into that more later). We live in a tourist trap so now that it is winter his hours are cut dramatically. Lately I come home and not much has been done around the house and he is not really interested in me. When I talk to him he seems quite annoyed. He spends more time on electronics then dealing with me and so I end up feeling pretty lonely and bored. The most time I spend with him is when we play cod after the children are asleep and that's not really a contact activity. It sucks I don't really have much else to say about that. He is the type of person you really can't get thru to. So I can talk to him in a calm manner until my face is blue and it is just a waste of time. I know it may seem bad but even when he tells me he loves me which is not as often as he used to I really don't believe him. I feel my confidence and self esteem just dwindling and I'm starting to feel like all of my love and energy is being drained. I hate being the insecure girl that wonders what he is doing all the time and who he is talking to but every time I turn around he is crossing boundaries. He isn't very concerned with making things right either. He is so adamant that he never does anything wrong. I've had pretty ****** relationships in the past. I REALLY thought he would be different. He is put on a pretty high pedestal by all of his friends and family, even my family (he likes having his ego stroked). This doesn't feel like love anymore and just because a man doesn't put his hands on you does not mean he isn't treating you like ****.
mylife808 mylife808
22-25, F
3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

It is very frustrating

must be very frustrating

You hit the nail on the head with him believing that he is right and I am wrong. Whenever I try to approach him no matter how calm I am he says I'm just starting drama. As far as his exs; things like sex, hiding their relationship from me, and other inappropriate topics are discussed. They really only try to start drama and even when I was pregnant was trying to get back with him. That is why I'm uncomfortable with it. I feel like I am stuck and their is really know place else to go.