my fiance of 3 years has been cheating on me and this is how I found out.....a friend of his text me and said they had information that they thought I needed to know. they proceeded to tell me that he had a girlfriend that he didn't want me to know about. I approached my fiance about it but he denied it, he said we've been through too much for him to do that to me. well a few days later on my daughters birthday we were at dinner and text messages started coming through from the woman. photos of him naked with her in bed, photos of them kissing and pictures of them in his house. she also poked fun at the fact that we lost our baby. when I showed h the photos and brought it up, all he could say was "Jesus Christ". No apology no nothing just those 2 words. his family is ashamed of his behavior and they want us to still be friends. needless to say I broke up with him but it's hard to accept that he wasn't man enough to tell me or apologize.
mustbeaspeciallady mustbeaspeciallady
31-35, F
18 Responses Jan 21, 2016

do you still love him ?

I don't love what he did and that overpowers everything that I feel for him. I could never trust him even though he's saying he didn't have sex with her. it's the fact that there is a her.

What an SOB!! He doesn't deserve to be in your presence. I'm sorry you lost the baby, I've been there and don't understand how another woman could be so cruel about it. It sounds to me like they deserve each other--two mean, heartless, lying people who have no respect for anyone else. You will heal, and you'll find someone who deserves you and wants to be a family with you, and treats you with respect and love. I'm glad you found out in time. I'm always here if you want to chat (or rant, cry--whatever). All the best to you, hun.

thank you so much. my mom contacted him because she wanted answers and he said he made a mistake being around her but he didn't have sex with her and went on to apologize. I don't know how he expects anyone to believe that lie. I've just been going through so many emotions and not knowing how to feel. just need this all to go away.

Has your mom seen the pictures?

yes she's seen the pictures and wanted to hear what he had to say or if he would atlas admit it to her since they were so close. all he says is that he did take the pictures but he didn't sleep with her and that she went through his phone and found the naked pictures of him.

he doesnt deserve the right to give you an apology it would do no good for him to even say he is sorry. . . i couldnt sit there and listen to the pathetic sorry id get because there's no amount of sorry that makes what he has done ok . . . . . what im saying is the expectation for someone to be sorry or want of them to be sorry is unaceptable when they make choices in life that are deceitful dishonest and ongoing. . . lets face it he didnt accidentally fall naked into bed with the other woman in his house. . . sorry is for an accident. . . that isnt something he deserves to be able to say he is sorry for because it belittles the extreme of what he has done.

I understand but I expected a little bit more than just Jesus Christ.

i think you got jesus christ because he obviously had an issue with the other woman and at a wild guess she threatened to call him out on it .. . he thought she was bluffing. . . thing is all while it was working in her favour she didn't mind being the other woman . . . she is pretty low moraly to do that to another family as much as he is. . . . he had nothing else to say because there was nothing to say. .. it was all there plain as day. .. . . . your seeking some closure that your not going to get i believe. . . . unfortunately that is often an all too common wound from this type of situation. life gets better and you learn from it. . .dont let it get to your head too much tho because it will ruin your faith in humans and thats not fair to yourself.

I know you are hurting.... But .... Just think how much more it would hurt if you had actually married that A-hole

It's is good you found out early

your right and I'm glad I did find out just wish there was a better way.

Well at least he had a friend that was willing to stand up and help you. Lol maybe you should date him 👍💗

lol

you have a great point hehe

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my girlfriend has cheated on me countless times ive found conversations with my cousin and condoms laying around that i knew were not mine

that is outrageous and I'm sorry that she's doing that to you.

i think im a great person i just dont get it .....ive even gone as far as writing a two page letter to her come to find out she doesnt even have it anymore and that hurts

if shes cheating on you she just doesnt love you . . . .its not you either its HER cheaters make choices . . . based on that you need to make choices of how you accept her poor behaviour. condoms that arent yours just laying around gross . . . kick it to the curb . . .

There is a reason why he is out of you're life. You deserve better.

I know there is a reason. just will take some time to heal. and I do deserve better, no one should have to go through this.

I really can't stand cheaters they are cowards and scum

I can't stand them either and he said he wasn't that kind of guy. a one woman man. lies!!!!

That idiot is just a player. Hate lying ******** like that. What a jerk to do that to you. He should've treated you like a princess. Some guys just don't respect women and what they have until they screw up and then wonder why they end up divorced or single many years down the road several times over. I mean is it just that hard for these ******** to stay loyal. Sorry what he did to you. Makes it super hard to ever trust anyone ever again to.

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Lucky you didn't marry him!

I know, everything for a reason.

still it must hurt! I don't understand who took the pictures of him in bed - and why send them to you? That is very hurtful!

the woman that he cheated with took the pictures. and she wanted to prove that he was with her so she sent them to me.

There's definitely something wrong with her too!

oh I know, they deserve each other. 2 sick puppies.

quite right! I hope you can feel free to begin a new life without him!

I will be OK without him. Even though he seemed to be perfect he was far from it. too good to be true. I will move on.

Good for you - best of luck!

Well he will cheat on her later on and karma will be great!

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Join the club. My wife of 15 years and we have 4 kids ages 5 up to near 15 and I'm 33, anyways I caught her cheating on me with a hidden affair with a past friend of hers from before she met me over 16 years ago. When I caught all the hidden love chats and calling him and he calling her for over 3 months behind my back she said she wanted a divorce. Her friends on facebook was helping her talk to him. She has never respected me as a husband, I have always came last to her for everything. I should've seen the warning signs from the start when she was super flirty and wanted nothing but dozens of guy friends. I trusted her then and was blind. Young and blind and now look at what being a good nice husband has got me. Cheated on. I know how you feel!

sorry you had to go through that. don't know what's the point in making a commitment to someone and then breaking it.

i feel you man thats ******

Accepting an apology you never had. Stay strong, you are worth it!

thanks, I will stay strong for myself and my kids.

I know it feels like your world has crumpled. It will feel like that for a while. Get some Therapy.. It will help you so much, empower you. And as far as I see it.. Omg ! She did you a favor to take him off your hands. Absolutely you deserve better.

she really did do me a favor and I honestly hope they are happy with each other.

Relationships that start like that usually don't last..
The percentage of these men staying with the other woman or leaving the wife are extremely small. Serve them both for their wrong choices. Cowards.. And social dysfunctional women.. Karma is a b$&ch. you will see in due time.
But your character speaks volumes wishing those that did you wrong
" happiness.." You did the right thing. Wishing you the best..

I have some great books I've been reading if you are interested in healing. So that you can move onto someone worthy of you.

sure I'm interested in the books.

If he would of apologized would your response be any different?

not that my response would be any different I just think I deserve more than "Jesus Christ".

That the "I just got my *** handed to me response"

that's what my mom said!

Smart lady, and not that it's right, but I wonder his friends motive? Has the friend been making moves on ya?

no, doesn't even live in the same country. he just said he didn't agree with the way he's treating me behind my back but says he's sure he lives me because he's always talking about me.

Did the other woman send the pics or did the BF get hold of and send to ya ?

the other woman sent the pics

Oh wow, did ya know her? Or of her? Was she in same town? (Sorry if I ask too much, feel free to tell me to shut up)

nope didn't know her or of her. not in the same area at all.

Well if it would make ya feel any better you and I could have a wild night one night and send him pics of! (Attempt at being humerous)

lol then I'd be just as bad

I'm sorry, poor taste. But would make him feel as bad as it did you.

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Do u mind adding me ?

Can i message you something, maybe you will feel good for now?

ok

Oh my gosh girl!!!! That is horrible!!!!!!!! Hugs

thanks

Wow.. That's pathetic that he told another woman that you lost a baby!! Cheating is bad but that's horrible!! Stay strong!!

I didn't think that part was necessary either but she simply told me to hurt me.

Well she has issues!!! My mom lost a baby at 9 weeks but carried it 15 weeks.. Not too many people know.. But yeah.. If someone were to say anything about my (sounds like brother) sibling then I'd come unglued

I'm so sorry that that happened to you!! She's a low-life!!!

Hopefully he's not your daughters daddy because that will make it even harder.. Good luck to you and your daughter!

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Lol Jesus Christ xD.

Omg! Wtf... What a complete worthless shitbag. **** that guy... Be strong <3

I will be strong because I have no other choice. it's still fresh, only a few days ago so it still hurts.

Were there any signs that u overlooked other than his friends telling u?

nope. he did everything for me. just recently sent me on a pretty expensive vacation. we had a really close relationship and I'm super close with his family.

Have u spoken to him since?

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Men wont apologize because they make everything ok in their minds!

I just thought he would care enough about me to say I'm sorry for what I have done to you but i guess you are right.

Wow I'm sorry :(