Married for 17 years and husband behaves like a complete roommate. I mean, things werent always so hot and heavy, he did in the beginning be intimate with me maybe once or even twice a week. As the years go by, its further and further until now its like months we have not been intimate. Kids are getting bigger and the bigger they get the more I look at him as, is this the person who is going to be with me when I want to go on a cruise and relax, is this the person who will say yes to me if I want to go to the beach? Or a weekend getaway? Nope... All we do is take care of the things at home, talk about stuff that makes no sense or meaning, and sit in separate couches to watch TV. This is not what I signed up for. I tried for 17 years.
Scorpion1970 Scorpion1970
46-50, F
8 Responses Mar 28, 2016

Do what makes you happy before it's too late.

That was me for 5 yrs. after 20 yrs of marriage. finally I asked him straight out, "Do you want to separate?" He said, "That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Beware, they don't want to look like they are the BAD guys by stepping out so they wait for you ask then tell everyone one you asked for the separation. Needless to say the divorce goes through in 2 months. I don't really care who asked for the separation, just glad it happened

Devorce him then

This describes my marriage. I look over at my wife and ask myself, "Is this it? Really?"

it's sad because your young

What is your next move?

The ILIASM lifeboat is already inflated and deployed!

Just in case you haven’t seen other posts to this effect, we have set up an ILIASM “message board forum” here:

Like any new site, it will take a bit of getting use to as you learn how to use it. But it really has some great features, and will be ILIASM specific. At this time, over 85 EP ILIASM folks have logged in and set up a profile, and over 300 posts already. (Very reassuring, for just 5 days of operation.)

All are welcome to join us there. (Well: for anyone who sends unsolicited **** pix.... please disregard that sentiment.)

Know your frustration and the loneliness that can exist even when with someone. Was there with my wife for several years and even with counseling making a difference for us now ... it is hard for her to stay out of that base state of low engagement / effort. Hoping you find a path forward with your H.