My wife is abusive and hostile. She has been jealous, vengeful and angry. I stepped outside of our marriage years ago but realized it was a mistake and have tried to right my wrongs and be a better, more loving husband - I have been doing this and have been sorrowful and absolutely loyal and loving for the past 8 years. Now she is stepping out. But now however, her standards have changed. All of the accusations and blaming even beyond what I actually did, behavior that she condemned, is now ok because she is doing it. She minimizes everything she does that she considered wrong when I did it and sites my foul behavior as justifications for her wrong doing. This has lead me to stop drinking as I watch a sad alcoholic spin out of control on an mission to destroy me. I am sad but resolved to have a better life...
Ploco Ploco
46-50, M
6 Responses Apr 10, 2016

I'm so sorry. Marriage is so hard sometimes. Are you ok?

I think I will be ok. Just communicating with a community that can empathize is helpful. Makes me wonder if we just live in a way that doesn't work. Like the way our society and our norms are structured, don't make sense and turn people into desperate, pitiful beings that feel trapped and like they have wasted their chances at love and life because we are programmed in a way to want something else and grow to resent the fact that we see this truth in our significant others... I am not ok but hope that I will be. You message helped.

Again - sorry, meant to reply to you and not myself


Sorry, I mean to respond to you, Ploco

Sometimes I think marriage is an outdated institution..

That's why it needs to be recreated anew. People have ruined marriage and the church (governed by politics and tyranny) did it no favours.

[13:17][NachtWulf] yeah man i heard about it too when a family had an accident. the husband and the dog die/ the wife hugs the dog and crying like a spring cloud/ and does not give a damn **** about the husband

He'll be okay if his wife didn't choose to sleep with her dog over him (just an example) or place celebs over him. But that's 'love' in society; something homo sapiens just can't seem to grasp and are allergic to.

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People are ruining romance... sick of kids/pets/siblings, people need to place their lovers above their own needs and that of others. I know I would, so too could a human. But humans are programmed to be drones.


Oh, how I know how it feels to get nothing from your spouse but pain and hurt, over and over again. It destroys you. When you know deep down that they would rather be with anyone else but you. That you will never be good enough for them. I hope your heart heals and that you can feel alive and happy again soon.

So true. I hope so too! Thanks!

Oh his heart will hear, because she doesn't have his heart and never will. His real soulmate awaits him, whether within someone else or in her own body. I have faith in that.


I've given up hope that soul mates exist.

oh they do, but the ******* govenrment doesn't wnat you to know that. THey profit off of separation. There are spirit lovers abound that people are becoming acquinted to. I am REAL and would never leave my partner. People need spirituality if they want to find their soulmates; without spirituality or awareness how could one find their true partner? It seems like there are no soulmates when the world is so blind, but don't lose hope. I'm 28, never been with anyone and I still haven't lost hope. I'm eventually going to end up with a spirit companion. Humans are dead to me and disgust me with their frivolousness.

And my spirit lover will incarnate in a human form and we will be everything eachother wanted. We'll change this world. We'll prove all these morons wrong that don't believe in love and think it's 'unnatural' cause that's what they've been programmed to believe, and like the unthinking parrots they are, reiterate like broken records.

Everything as in; partners in crime, lovers that will NEVER put anyone above eachother let alone near eachother. S/he will be crazy too, but only love me and I will only love him/her. The universe is endless. You can find the right partner because the desire was bred by the universe that created all things that are so perfect in their imperfection; afterall existence wouldn't exist without such 'uncanny' probability. Connect the dots and true love is impervious to this lovelorn society. They WANT you to lose hope! Your biggest weapon against their tyranny is to not pursue, but believe in Hope in optimism, and when the time is right, love will show up. I keep having to say this to myself... Unfortunately my time hasn't come 'yet'........... never seems to for me, but i'm an anomaly.

Would you place your husband as #1 if you felt they ewre your soulmate? would you die for and kill for him? Many women say no, while their men say yes. It destroys me like you can't imagine. People die for their pets but I never see women saying they will die for their husbands or kill for them, yet they will for their children or pets, or siblings/parents. That's not soulmate love at all.

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Wishing you the best in what must be a very troubling and heart wrenching situation..

Thanks so much! My first post. I appreciate the outpouring.

Wish him the best by being true and putting your husband #1 and setting an example for the future generations and others. This is the way you can best wish him best. Words are air.

let her go ; get settled with someone who will care for you without judging you bro

Good advice just difficult to execute on.

Yeah I agree. Sadly most relatoinShits these daze are about BS and not actual love. It kills me inside like no one can imagine. I'm so sad...

that's also true, people just tend to take you for granted after a while which is sad !

Have you tried calling the police

I have called the police twice which has helped. The abuse is mostly mental and emotional. She open flirts with men who give her attention when we are together. It is so uncomfortable. Yet for some reason, I think we can resolve things. I know it is wishful thinking but it end it feels to much like quitting and I don't have anyone to turn to. Mr family is all gone. My friends have all become hers. That is why I am reaching out anonymously, I don't feel I have anywhere to turn.

Oh dear, it really hurts when they flirt like that, it's such disrespect. I've unfortunately lived through it. I was 18 and pregnant with his child one time, which made it sting more. I wish I could go back in time and just say no when he first asked me out. It would have saved me a lot of pain and suffering.

It's about time people start doing soething about this. People marry (especially women) and flirt with others openly and comment on celebrities and what have you. they place pets and friends above their spouses. Tell me, is that "love"? It is syckness. People will soon begin to boycott marriage/relationships and rightfully so. It turns my stomach to read comments like this. People need to get to KNOW the person they are marrying, otherwise the marriage is worth nothing; nada. If you marry a stranger without knowing them then they are still a stranger. If your friend leaves you for the ***** then they are not your friends and she is not your 'lover'. I lose sleep over this issue like no one can imagine. Truly feel OP's pain. All some of us ever wanted was to feel wanted and loved and to be #1 in someone's life while we're sexually compatible. ALL IN or NOTHING.

yet it never seems to happen unless they're 'soulmates'. It has to be the right fit, but the trees in this forest have grown far too bushy and eyes too blind, senses too riled up in a penumbra of seething , distracted by memories of pain alluding to vanity. Relationship disasters are life disasters and it will (is) show(ing) up as we write this. The family/child itself that women oh so care about is a response to the LOVE in the relationship that is Sexual between the two that gave birth (or adopted), and yet this is the lacking part in our syck society. They did this by design.

I don't even know what to believe anymore. I feel like I'm the only one that actually gives a **** about romance. I a 28 and don't even know what it's like to hold hands , especially since I don't trust anyone. Society has taught me that. Just look at all the ******* posts everyone posts everywhere. Especially women seem to love EVERYONE except hteir husbands. Explain this to me. Please. As a woman, explain why. I don't even trust their words anymore. Your husband should be your #1 and also most attractive to YOU otherwise don't marry hiM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Her friends should also be your friends. You two should be ONE. This is something that no one in society seemms to grasp. No one even fathoms romance. She should sacrifice all friendships for YOU if she truly loved you. This is a CRIME she is committing against your soul. Your friends have become hers? They were never your friends to begin with, and she was your enemy not your lover... sorry to say. Have you tried looking into succubi/spirit relationships? many men are turning to these relationships and so am I planning it as well. Let them wallow in loneliness and see their loss. I'm so upset about reading such tragedies mostly coming from women in today's society, but so too men. If they don't know how to love then marriage and relationships should be out of the question!!!

She should sing this song to you and mean it! Otherwise OUT the DOOR!

I can do a spell for you, just let me know. PM me if you want. I am a wytch/magi and cast spells. I can help you if you FEEL right about connecting with her again. If it's meant to be I can help it happen more efficiently. All I want to see is lovers love eachother.

I won't ask for MONEY, i'm not about MONEY... money is a disease. I want to see Lovers Love eachother. That's all i give a **** about anymore. Love or DEATH.

If she is a ***** to u be a ***** back , your a man fight back u know you can do it u just have to find the urge and once you decide to fight back you will be free , you deserve better remember that and she isn'g your better

LuSyD, your messages are intriguing. So you think you can help me? Proceed...

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