I have been married four years this July and it seems like our relationship gets worse and worse every year... he is home long enough to drop the kid off after school then he's gone tell almost midnight or latter and sleeps on the couch!! he dosent ever communicate with me... he dosent do any of his "male responsibilitys"! but God for bid I dont do his laundry " I will cut the damn hoses that way no one has clean clothes" says him. I work 45 hours a week minimum then come home and take care of two kids and house work.. I pick up after him and his brother who comes over to shower and do laundry daily and can't seem to put his **** wear it belongs either... I am constantly yelling because I so agitated and overwhelmed that I am not fully enjoying my kids and life... I just wish I could make him see how under appreciated he makes me feel..
scarsofrelief scarsofrelief
26-30, F
3 Responses Apr 13, 2016

Oh my dear friend. I am so sorry are experiencing this. We all should feel loved and respected! You mentioned that you feel your relationship is getting worse every year and although I am certainly not qualified to even speculate on the reasons behind why your husband is not more involved, is it possible that he may be dealing with an underlying issue, such as stress or even depression?I do understand the difficulty you face in not being able to talk with him.. Have you considered getting a 3rd party involved to help you both work through the obstacles you face? With that help you should be able to determine if there is a medical reason behind his unresponsiveness; additionally you both will also be given the tools to learn how to effectively communicate – to where you both will be heard. It will also be an opportunity to express your roles and expectations within the home - what you each need to keep your love tank full! True, there is a chance you you might be met with opposition on this, in which case, would you entertain the thought of going to IC – at least for awhile? I think it so important you have a good support system as you continue to work through this challenge! In the meantime, there is so much literature available - a few you might find insightful and encouraging are Love & Respect (Eggerichs) and The 5 Love Languages (Chapman) Please know – that although it probably feels like it at times – YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Come here as often as you need to to vent. Feel free to message me if you like. I will keep you in my prayers!-P

You need to find a man who appreciates you. You definitely deserve that.

tell him that if he does not step up to the plate and start taking care of his responsibilities, and that includes you and the kids and the house and doing something about his brother that you will be moving on to somewhere else