Froude Meets Nympho

I'm in a relationship that I shouldn't be in. We have nothing in common, fight all the time, and I find myself never wanting to be around him.... until he isn't there. The only thing we have in common is sex, and even that is weird.

It started out with me lying to him, he found out about it and during sex, it seemed as though I was being punished for it. The sex was rough...too rough, he tied me up (which I've never done before) and he treated me like a piece of meat... and I let him. First let me say that this is not my style of sex. I like things to be a bit kinky... but respect always being there.

Now I feel as though the sex started off on the wrong foot and had continued down this path of dominance. I am submissive in bed, but never being called a *****, or being told that "I'm such a good little ****" has been on my to do list!

It's too the point where I walk away feeling ashamed and a lot of times crying after sex. The strange thing is... while in the heat of it all, I don't mind it really. Sometimes it actually gets me off. I like being choked, and having my hair pulled. Sometimes he will mention sharing me with other men, and it totally turns me on. But after, I feel dirty, and like he doesn't respect me. I feel like something is wrong with me for liking these things, and hating them all at the same time.

I have tried talking about this to him, but laughs it off and tells me how much he knows I enjoy it.

Even out of the bedroom I don't feel desired by him or respected. So in the bedroom I try to do what he likes to please him or make myself more desirable to him. In the end, nothing changes and I feel like less of a person.

I'm so f*cking twisted... I need help

wingedwhisper72 wingedwhisper72
26-30, F
Apr 3, 2007