Desparate and Frustrated

I thought my life was finally getting on track...I had accomplished my bachelor's degree after 9 years of going to school on a very inconsistent and part-time basis, I met and fell in love with a wonderful man, and we were in the process of buying a first brand-new home together, I was working at a place nearby where our new home was being built making more money than I ever had before traveling and making some management decisions throughout the company.  There was even talk between my boss and I about promoting me to a higher management tier after the holidays passed.  Three weeks before Christmas, the man in my life and I closed on our new home.  Things were great - our relationship, our new home, and my very successful job and then BAM!  The other shoe dropped two days before Christmas of 2006.  I went into my bosses' office the Friday before Christmas thinking that it was time to talk about the promotion or some sort of bonus for the holiday.  Instead, I was told that the entire company had collapsed, had to claim bankruptcy and I no longer held a position at the company.  According to my boss, "he didn't see this coming".  However, I think he did but he wasn't man enough to tell me ahead of time that there were problems arising.

So I tried to look on the positive side of this lay-off.  Since I just moved in weeks prior, I still had a lot of unpacking and decorating to accomplish.  Not to mention that I did appreciate the "break" from the corporate world.  I was also fortunate enough to claim employment benefits from the state so I didn't have to be too strapped for cash when it came time to paying bills.  Although my income was split in half (and then some) and I was just making my bills, I still was able to look for jobs, stay at home and not be so under-pressure. 

Submitting my resume to all the different job banks that are easily accessible on the Internet, networking, registering at headhunters and employment agencies and going on one interview after another for the past 7 months has been my daily, weekly and monthly routine...with no positive outcome!  I am at the end of my rope right now and so frustrated.  I know I have great work ethics, a hard-worker, team player and able to handle high stress situations when in a management position.  Not to mention that I am very educated and I have both common sense as well as a high level of book smarts.  Absolutely everything that every ad in the paper or on the Internet is looking why am I still unemployed?  I even looked into those "work-from-home" businesses which turned out to be a scam!  I really am desperate to find absolutely anything. 

Recently I received a letter from the state stating that I have "exhausted" my benefits and I am no longer eligible to receive any sort of money from the state.  At this point, I am so desperate and frustrated, I really don't know what to do anymore.  I feel that I have been trudging the waters for so long that I am about to drown. 

Luckily, I do have the love and support of my man but there has been added stresses to our relationship due to me not having a job.  He can support me and is financially able to take care of all the bills BUT that was not the originally agreement.  I am a very independent woman and I appreciate the thought and gesture when a man WANTS to help but I would always rather to have a relationship be 50/50...especially when it comes to financial.  I do not want to be set back to the 1950s type of woman that depends on a man to survive.  That is not how I was brought up nor it is how I want to become now.   

If anyone has any suggestions as to what other outlets that I can try that I haven't yet, I would really like to hear so please respond.

Desperate and frustrated




countrygrl77 countrygrl77
26-30, F
4 Responses Jul 9, 2007

If you want to stick to your 50/50 arrangement why not create a realistic repayment plan with your man that will see you dip below the 50 % contribution level for a while and pay it back when you resume gainful employment. That way- some of the self-imposed pressures you're feeling can be deflected for the time being while you fully concentrate on finding work/income. <br />
<br />
Isn't this the kind of problem/solution scenario you'd encounter and use as a manager? Apply it at home.<br />
<br />
Best wishes

am sure something good is going to come to your way soon, i know its hard to wait more especially if u are used to be busy, i had along wait before myself but now am employed so dont loose hope u will get it soon.

I wish you the best of luck. I became unemployed Nov. 14. I have something of a cushion, but I still feel pressured to find a job, like, yesterday.

Good luck on your job search. I hope you can find something.