Im Waiting!

I see it like many things, my strength to leave my marriage is always changing. Some days I think it will never happen and there are others days when I have no doubts that it will. Of course there are the days in between too.

I have always thought when the time is right and I really am ready to leave, all things will fall into place and best as can be and I will see it's time. Such a hard thing to do no matter how bad the circumstances have been. Trying not to feel guilty when I look at my kids and friends, is so difficult.

So mixed with emotions about leaving. Anxious to start new, scared to not be able to, excited about possibilities, afraid of not finding I really will be okay.
It's all a ball of feelings and I really never know how I will catch it from one day to the next.

I do remain firm that I will leave one day though and it's enough for me right now to say that.
soulrunher soulrunher
46-50, F
5 Responses Jan 9, 2013

Wow...It is as if you are in my head...I really understand all the things you say here because i too go through the same discussions with myself...thank you for sharing!

Thanks for reading and commenting

Enough...for now...

Soul, my friend, you know I totally relate to this! Way to go....

Thanks for your comment.

I know exactly how you feel. I have been searching for the correct time, to get her past all her family crises. It FINALLY dawned on me that there will never be the "right" time. It is something I just have to DO.

But I completely, utterly empathize with you.


Sorry you're in that situation Soul. You definitely deserve better!


Hugs my friend. Don't we all!