Confussed

Where to begin? As a little girl I have always wanted to be be mom and a wife. Well I got my wish, and got some beautiful daughters out of the first one. I also got alot of headaches and heartaches. Hubby thought working from 2-10 wasn't good enough he had to have after work activities which included alot of females, if you get what I am saying. After a long nasty divorce I decided to raise the kids on my own and stay that way.  Well Mr wonderful came along after the kids were older, and thought to myself, maybe this is it. It has to be, I waited this long, this has to be the right guy. How could I be wrong twice?  What seemed to be good, turned out to be really good, til the day came that we said I do. Little did I know that meant I do get told what to eat and when, I do get told how to dress and like it, what to say, what not to say. Basically I married someone that thought I needed to be retrained in life.  I am not a brainy person, but I do no right from wrong. I know how to be a wife, and I just need the opportunity to show it.  Needless to say, I ran away from that relationship as well.  I am not a quiter until I just can not take it anymore.  Is it suppose to be the husband wears the pants, makes the rules, and has complete control over everything?  I no longer am suppose to have a brain and use it?  I don't get it.  I love the guy alot, I just can't take anymore of the control freak side of him.  Parts of me want to go back abd try to start a new life with him, but I know that it is going to be the same ole thing after a week or two.  No more going outside unless he is there, no more talking on the phone, unless I ask permission and sit right in front of him, no more seeing grankids grow up, or playing with them.  No more of alot of things.  How far can love go before you just say...I can't do this?????????

brighteyes18 brighteyes18
46-50, F
4 Responses Aug 3, 2010

I would think about what you are doing. Not being able to think got me into a lot of trouble.

wow it has been a year. I stayed away and life would not be any better. I have come a long way. congrats to me.... I said I would. I said I could and I did it............

Some women like to be told when, how and what to do. If you are not one of those women, then stay away from him. How many "red flags" did you see before you married him?? I bet your gut told you to run long before you did. Trust your gut, most of the time its not wrong.

Stay away from him. You know you deserve better than that.