My Horrible Lies

my horrible lies:well to start off on a true note and to tell you what I have lied about goes a little bit like this...all true by the way...I quit school @ 17 I readily joined the military but I was not ready for the military so I came back home after a couple months and trained my mind body and soul for the military I went back in @ 18 I was @ the point of no return the military changed my life for the better I had money in my pocket I had a vehicle girls anything until one day I was in the barracks and a few buddies of mine were smoking legal marijuana and peer pressure is a s.o.b so I started to indulge and it suddenly ruined my life...I became a fiend to just get high because me growing up I had no freedom I had no real chance when I was a civilian to experiment...but as I told you I began to lie to everyone in a big way it started as ill pay you back into telling family members that I was not in the u.s. and doing things for the military that was not true....I am out of the military now and have told the same lies to an even bigger scale I have gotten to the point where Ican detail things that didn't happen and damn near believe them myself....I'm losing my mind I don't know what to do someone help......
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 20, 2013

Im sorry things got to this point for you and sorry your having "that feeling" from this.. thats the worst feeling. Reading this it seems that this started from weed/drugs ext.. am i right? Are you still smoking weed or doing any drugs? If you are, I think that should be the first thing to focus on changing... thru rehab or meetings or whatever.. there is no shame in that. You need to be honest with yourself and be honest about the lies that came from that, and figure out the root of the problem. I think that's a start and eventually part of that will be owning up to your mistakes/lies and making amends. It takes a big person to appologize and admit their mistakes, and a really big person to admit they lied.. its really hard BUT I think you will be so surprized that those people will forgive you and accept you. They will appreciate your honesty and acknowledge how hard that it was for you, and most of those people will end up helping you out and being a support system. Either way, I think the key to this is first being honest with yourself and then the people your lying to. That dosent mean you have to go thru every single thing you said to every single person, but def the big things to the important people. Lies always catch up with you at some point in time, and a lot of the time people already know or sense when you tell them lies.. thi gs just dont always add up. You take up so much time, thought, energy, worry, stress and anxiety on lying, remembering them and keeping up with them. Once your honest and get past it.. you will feel soooooo much better.. it will amaze you how big of a weight will be lifted off you. The thing to remember is that this can all be fixed and you can move on from this happy and healthy. Best of luck