Managing

There are times when I think life is cruel, terrifying, and completely futile. I can never seem to fully understand what I am doing here, and when it starts to get me down I have to think of something to do to make myself feel useful to this world. Sometimes I am ashamed, because there is nothing really wrong with me. I am just... unstable. Oversensitive. Easily distracted. Hopelessly romantic. Idealistic, which makes me pessimistic. Hopelessly in love with someone I can probably never have, and who is losing himself to things he used to swear never to do, and to his trauma's. I see people suffer and I wonder why. I see people hurt each other, and I wonder why. I break down from time to time. My friends are worried about me, and I feel guilty for being such a lame friend to them. But I have always felt that alcohol, drugs, weed, cutting and suicide are weak, so I keep moving on. I don't really know how. I just do.

JojaRodenaLente JojaRodenaLente
18-21, F
Mar 7, 2009