I Need A Plan

I know I need to get out of this situation but honestly have no clue how. I have a two month old baby, no job and not a dollar to my name since he controls all the money. When a person is ready to leave an abusive relationship, how do they start?
luvmyladybugs luvmyladybugs
31-35, F
2 Responses May 17, 2012

Spot on advice. It is amazing how just making that one phone call today and finding a voice on the other end that said " we will do this together" - has made me feel more in control and not so trapped. Looking forward to meeting the counselor who is appropriately name Joy, lol, on Monday! ;)

I'm really proud of you for taking action. I know it's difficult to envision change, and being on your own, but choose love over fear.... love for yourself and your kids. You can do this.... just be careful not to let on that you're planning your out; abusers, physical and emotional, will fight to keep their victims in place. Quick, quiet exit... it's the best way to go. Stay strong, girl... you can do this.

You start by envisioning yourself packing your things and walking out the door. Fantasize about it... let the thought of it dictate your actions. You keep the peace while you come up with your exit strategy.<br />
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Then you think of every single friend or relative you have who might be willing to let you stay there temporarily. Let them know it's just that; but that you need to leave for your own safety and for the baby's safety. Someone, somewhere in your world will have a couch for you to surf while you surf the Net looking for your next move. It starts with baby steps. If not, there are shelters and homes for unwed mothers and victims of domestic violence; you don't have to be young to utilize them. It might mean going to another city via a bus. Or asking for whoever to come pick you up.<br />
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When you send a signal out to the Universe that you need help, help will come. You just have to have that faith and be ready to quit this negative life that's holding you back. Get yourself ready. Act cool, and never let on that you intend to leave. It's safer that way. There's a reason you have no money... he thinks you can't leave. You will feel so empowered when you learn you can. Daycare centers hire and let you bring the baby to work. You might find a live-in nanny job as well. Or a housekeeping job. There is a way out, you just have to seek it.<br />
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Peace and love to you. Be strong; be committed to yourself and making change in your life for the better. Do it for you and your baby. The time is now.