He Wont Let Me Go

I dated this guy for about 5 months. I met him online on a MMORPG. It wasn't supposed to have happened. Anyways, I dont feel like grinding through all the details. We did meet in real life and he said he loved me way before I think he should have. I am much more cautious and it would upset him that I didn't respond to the "i love you". Well, now that I have grown into the I LOVE YOU zone he seems to be backing off. It's like he waited until I loved him to realize he didn't love me or maybe he is playing some silly game. So, now, all i hear is how I messed up and NOW won't i regret it. It's driving me crazy. I have asked him directly if we are done, and he doesn't say yes, he just goes into this list of the ways I have hurt him. I tell him I'm sorry and I didn't know it was affecting him that way. He makes it seem like there is hope but, if there are so many things ..y would he want to stay? I'm just really confused. I know time will tell but, this transition phase is so incredibly emotionally draining.
its4am its4am
2 Responses Jul 12, 2010

Dating men we meet in MMORPG's can be dangerous territory. I, too, was involved with someone I met in World of Warcraft. We were friends in game for several years and embarked in a long distance relationship in 2009. It didn't last. The sad part is, he didn't have the balls to be honest with me. I had to find out he wanted to break up after he dodged question after question about getting together here in my hometown (I had already been to visit him in Texas twice). He dumped me via a private message on our guild forum.<br />
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The sad part is, we remained close friends for another year before he again started dodging me and being rude to me in email. I told him I wanted to move on and not speak again. He lashed out and told me I was irrational and then said he was writing me out of his life (I guess he couldn't handle a woman doing the dumping.)<br />
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It's been four days and I'm miserable. I found his Match.com profile and know he's been texting/sexting like crazy with a girl about 45 miles away from him in Dallas. Hasn't called her yet, but spends his entire day texting. I want to get revenge but I know he's not worth the energy. I just feel so worthless right now.

It seems like you both have feelings, but at different times...My last boyfriend tried to break up with because he thought that I wasn't interested. In fact, he was quite cold on the phone when he tried to break up with me. To be honest, I was completely confused. I could tell that he really liked me and did not realise that I was quite reserved about the situation. I guess I am not the type of person that exactly wears my heart on my sleeve. Needless to say, I figured out that I needed to re-clarify my feelings for him. He had no idea that I really cared for him. I think at an earlier stage in my life, I would have thought that he was not interested in me. Since I was willing to hear his viewpoint, and he is a very honest person, I was able to figure out what happened and realised that I needed to share my feelings with him. Since I am not exactly the most affectionate person (my upbringing), I needed to tell him directly. I think that you should really tell him how you feel. Perhaps site some examples. I found that was also hard for me to get close to my ex because of my previous relationship. My past relationship was with a man that lied frequently, and since then it takes longer for me to let people into my life. I told him this and really understood. Unfortunately for us, our relationship did not last very long; he was not over his past relationship and his parents had recently separated. He could not be in a relationship when he was dealing with anger issues towards his ex and the failure of what he thought was his parents perfect marriage. Well, I hope that you are able to sort things out with this gentlemen. I also question when guys state their feelings too quickly, or what I perceive to be too quickly. It makes me wonder is they love me or are just in love with being in love. I believe that time is the only thing that can sort this out. I hope for both of your sake that it is love...Good luck! By the way, if it does not work out, there are other guys out there:)