My Life Isn't Bad, I Just Need A Shift In Perspective To Start Seeing Things Differently.

Well, gosh, I need to regain some perspective.  I just feel like so many big things have screwed up the past while that all I can do is worry about what may be wrong with me that's causing all these negative events.  That, of course, is silly.  Things will happen regardless of what kind of person I am.  All I can do is my best.  If I make a mistake, no matter how big, the best I can do is apologize for my error and ask to be forgiven.  Whether or not the apology is accepted is out of my control.  Most people, however, are pretty reasonable, especially when they understand the kind of person I am. 

Anyway, all these big things -- I guess I make them big -- from my frustration about my job search, to trying to find a nice girlfriend, to misunderstandings with other friends, are taking their toll on me.  I'm not eating or sleeping very well.  I need to shower, do some laundry, and clean up my room -- a lot of little things that will just make life simpler and easier to handle.  The thing is, I'm having a difficult time letting go of my issues.  I have too much time right now to worry about them.  They become comfortable companions when there's no one else around.

A little bit of self-confidence and self-esteem would help here.  If I do some of the things I've listed above, I can at least get a small sense of pride over having accomplished something.  Sometimes, when the big things don't seem to be going right, all that's left to do is to take care of the little things, and be satisfied with those.  It's just as important to get them done, too.  If I don't let go and get on with it I'll drive myself crazy.  Something will have to give.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
2 Responses Aug 14, 2010

Ummmm . . . At the risk of causing an eruption I'm not sure how to take your response. Are you understanding of what I've written, or have I made you angry? You've shared some of the issues you face with me, but I was not referring to you, either directly or indirectly, in this post. If your thoughts are goo sensitive to put here send them to me in a personal message, if you want. Whatever my story has triggered in you, I hope you are able to resolve it.

Well, I thought I was right when I commented on a recent story of yours but than I read this one and oh dear, you sure nailed it. You summed up a lot of how I feel plus I have even other issues to deal with.<br />
I would say more but I can't. I don't know whether to **** or go blind.