I Want To Wake Up...

Just a bit of VENTING...
I feel like I've been asleep for too long and I want to wake up and come into reality. I've been dreaming my life away. Living inside my head. It's time to wake up. I hate dreaming, it just gets my hopes up and sets me up for dissappointment. Dreams are dreams for a reason, they're not reality. It's time to face the truth, the real truth, I am living in real life not a fairytale. Things don't just "happen" to people magically, if you want something you gotta work for it and you gotta work hard. You will never get anything out of life when you just dream but never act on it. Wishes don't come true. You can always hope for the best but what's that gonna do? You need to work towards the best and the best is what you'll get. I'm done with dreaming. I quit. I give up on it.It hasn't helped me a bit. It has just complicated things in my mind. I'll make up stories in my head that would never happen in real life. I think "what if..." but it will never happen. I always have to end up coming back to reality and living my life the same as usual. Every night I got to bed hoping for a great dream, something to keep me alive/sane. But every morning I wake up and nothing has changed. I feel like a zombie in this world, but in my own world I'm a princess, a hero, someones reason to live. In my dreams I'm everything I want to be, in my dreams I can be that person everyone loves, that person that people feel comfortable around, that person that knows all the right things to say, that person that never backs down and that stands up for herself and others, and that makes people feel safe and loved. In reality I'm a stranger, to my friends and to myself. In real life I'm that person that always has a smile on her face, that person that doesn't talk much but nobody knows why, no one knows my story, nobody knows what I have to say. People assume I am perfectly fine because I know how to act in public. But the truth is I smile to keep myself from crying, I don't talk much because I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing, I always say I'm doing good because I don't need people worrying about me, I don't tell people the truth because I'm afraid they'll never look at me the same. They won't understand, no matter how much they try they're not gonna know how I really feel. I'm ok though. I can keep a smile on my face. I can do this. Just one day at a time. Just one dream at a time.
sincerelymetes sincerelymetes
18-21, F
Jan 20, 2013