Sorry, Need to Get This Off My Chest....

My mom is having surgery on Thursday and it is really bothering me that I can not be there.  I am always afraid that one of my parents will pass away with out me being there with them.  I am currently in a situation that I can not afford to fly home, and the tears are welling up behind my eyes.  I have always felt that you should never hesitate to visit a loved one, better to see them alive than wait until you have to fly back for a funeral.  I am closer to my parents than they are to me.  Maybe I feel that I need to have them more than they feel they need to have me.  Don't know why I have the feelings I do, they are just as they are.  I keep this caged inside of me, I know if I talk about it I will cry, or sob.  I know that there is nothing I can do about it.

 

prairiezephyr prairiezephyr
46-50, F
7 Responses Feb 10, 2009

Hi all, just received call from my sister, and my mom is now in recovery and doing okay. They are keeping her over night for observation. Could only speak for a minute as she was calling from her mobile phone, so I will find out more tomorrow. Many thanks for your well wishes and prayers!

let us know the outcome. We will watch the clock 2gether

Thank you Ranmoo49 and Mewold, I am grateful for your thoughts and advice. My sister will be calling me when the procedure has finished to let me know how all went. With the time zone difference that should be sometime in the wee hours of tonight. I will try not to worry, but I know that I will be spending today clock watching! I will be there both in spirit and in prayer.<br />
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Again, many thanks.

Mr 49 is correct. Let her know how much you care (as if she didn't already). We can only do what we can do. Do not beat yourself up over something you can't control. I promise a prayer tonight.

May I offer a thought?As a parent the greatest reward n life for me is the love and respect of my children(don't tell my wife).It is irreelevant 2 me if they r n my presence r not. 2 hear thier voice is enough. I did not raise them 2 dote over me. It is my job 2 dote over them.If I am sick I need 2 focus on getting well and I do not want 2 b worried about them. I promise u that your concern is enough r at least I think it should b. As long as they know that u r there n spirit is sufficient. Even if u were there u could probably not change the outcome. Just let them know how much u love them. Your caring is everything.

Many thanks for your kind thoughts Loop, it is much appreciated. I know that there are many people in the world seperated from loved ones, guess it's just my turn this time.

I wish I had the money to send you for a ticket or I could go take your place at the hospital, but I can't do either. You and her will be in my thoughts on Thursday.