I Don't Like Worrying So Much, But I Am Always Worrying About When I'm Going To Experience Death

I always worrying is today going to be my last day. Just worrying altogether about death. I just know it is not healthy for my life. But at 24, I do worry. Because people are leaving our world left and right. I didn't get to experience everything I need to experience. My sister experienced way more than me, and she is only 19 years old. Like I don't know do God, have an age limit, on when people get in a relationship. I am just scared that I will never get to experience anything in life, because I waited too late. I used to sit at home a lot, and create people. I was just too scared to make real friends. So I just create somebody by trying to change my voice. Now I did this for 19 years. Isn't it way too long for someone to create something. I would answer my questions, and thoughts, pretending to be someone else. I just want to get my first kiss. I haven't see any girls that are at my score scale, which is a 1 or at most 2. I see all these 8, 9, 10's where I live, and don't let me go to the mall on a Saturday. BUT they are out my league. It is hard for me to find a 1 or 2. I can handle them so easily. There is no need to try to impress these other girls, who are 6's and 7's, who keep trying to flirt with me. I just don't want them seeing my nasty fat *** body. Yeah, I lost 30 pounds, that is probably why i am getting a little more attention from girls. I am under 300, now. But my waist is still a 48. I want to be in my normal weight, and be athletic and toned for myself. I am still fat, AND I don't like it. I just want all my weight to go away. I am always wondering how long it is going to take.

chicago54 chicago54
22-25, M
Feb 27, 2010