I'm Scared...

I broke down and cried this morning. my uncle died. But that wasn't the reason I cried. I was never really close to him. But I do love his wife. She's the sweetest and most caring person on earth! But I guess you would have to be to be able to deal with a man like that. I put myself in her place. That's when I felt like I was going to die. She tried so much to try and help my uncle but he was too stubborn to swallow his pride and let her help. I'm afraid of losing Jess. She's my life. She has a few things against her that could impact her health in the future. Some of which can be helped with the right motivation. I want to help. I don't want to live a day without her. Maybe I'm being selfish but I really don't care. I need her. I guess I just feel that I'm useless. That I can't help, yet I know I can. The only thing stopping me is the fact that she lives seven hours away and not right by my side. I could very easily convince her to go out for walks with me. I can very easily make her her dinners and everything else. I can be a motivation without her even really thinking about it because It will be with me. Or at least that is how I hope she would look at it.
Anndei Anndei
26-30, F
May 7, 2007