Faith?

I like to think at some point I had 'faith', even if it was not my own.  I enjoy learning about other religions and have the greatest of respect for each, no matter the differences. Sadly I feel as though I have no faith what so ever and really wish I did. My big brother passed suddenly on the 23rd Oct 2009, 27 years old, fit and healthy, father to 2 and due to be married to his fiancee. They put it down as sudden adult death syndrome, but how does that work? My nan died at 27 leaving my grandad to raise 3 children alone, he has struggled all his life and never remarried.  I used to believe that  'god' never gave you more than you could handle, but what happens then? is it not a sin to commit suicide?  what happens when you can no longer take it? which happens.

  Right now, I just feel lost, I understand this is all part of life, but, my brother and I saw things the same and to think logical just hurts too much, then I feel stupid to think of a 'god' or a 'higher power' when so much happens.  Three days after my brother passed, my younger brother became a dad, noone, not even his girlfriend, knew about the pregnancy, a day after my elder brothers funeral we found out his fiancee is pregnant. So as you can imagine I can see a silver lining so to speak, but it also makes it worse, to grow up without a parent, to never know them, my mum grew up like that and I know its not fair and its not right. Where is this 'god of love', 'god of mercy'?? or is he really a 'god you should fear'? I was brought up protestant and was in the orange lodge (till I was 14) so I've got a good start on things, but now none of it makes any sense. What is the point of life when you can just drop down dead without a cause?? I hope to find something to believe in. but I just don't know where to start.

Teenybabs Teenybabs
26-30, F
1 Response Feb 25, 2010

Hi<br />
I was confused about my religion and had lost faith. I needed someone to talk too and found a site www.coal2gold.com which helped me out big time. I would highly recomend it.<br />
best of luck