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Stop And Look Both Ways, Always!

Dearest EP folks...
I have lived an entire lifetime testing my thresholds and boundaries....seeing how far I can go before I crash...placing MY trust in fate to save me from my inglorious gambles. I feel as if I have this charm that shields me, and guides me away from undesired results....
Nonetheless, my stupidity has never failed me, As a matter of fact, it heightens with my carelessness...
Case In Point...I can be very Oh, So Very Dumb
Seven (almost) years ago, I had my own run in with a motor vehicle...and i fully blame myself.
I was on a date with a woman I could never stand, her name is Lorraine. She was considerably older then I was and married. It was a Wednesday night in August. I drank an entire pitcher of dark bitter beer and ate a couple of burgers. I was certainly feeling the effects of the beer.
Come Midnight...we leave (I have work early morning). We exit this dive Irish Pub called Tara's...wooden floors and the smell of stale liquor saturates this homely atmosphere where all walks of life congregate too...from Yatchers to Bikers, Frat boys to beauty queen...They all show up to Tara's

Once outside, I take no more then six continuous steps and I blindly step onto a seemingly desolate road and start to cross it. The road dark, empty, quiet and serene outside, I am not even rushing to get to my car...
Lorraine almost in a panic to keep up with me, runs up beside me...approaching me from my left side...
Neither of us are aware of a white pick up truck traveling southbound on the road we are crossing... I never saw it, I just sensed it. I felt force rapidly rushing at us from my right side.

What happened next...All occurred within less than twenty seconds...
As I Sense this truck baring down on us, I reach to my left to feel where Lorraine stood exactly...and with my palm pressed flush against Lorraine's entire back, I literally lifted her off of the ground and heaved her in the direction of the sidewalk. As I am aggressively shoving Lorraine, I leap in the air. The grill of the truck strikes my right leg, and I almost use the trucks momentum to thrust myself further towards the direction I threw Lorraine. I land standing directly next to where Lorraine landed...and she immediately starts yelling at me...
"What the Fcuk was that? Why did you push me?"
and then I tell her... "I was just hit by a truck"
"What?" she responds, "No you were not"
at that precise moment, the pick up truck pulls immediately over and this little Italian looking fellow in a complete panic and frenzy gets out of the drivers side door and starts running up and down the road searching for the pedestrian he just struck...
My immediate knee jerk reaction was Anger and Rage...I literally felt like grabbing that small pick up truck and flipping it over. But I didn't.
Seeing this manic man, running around completely upset was almost soothing...I was staying calm, as if I would calm him down.
I am tall and broad shouldered. The sidewalk I was standing on was unusually elevated...so I am witnessing this little guy almost from a perched angle...
this little man stops in the middle of the road after he finds no one there, no more then twenty feet away from me and I see his head turn in my general direction. I can almost feel and trace his line of sight. His mind identifies and registers me standing there in the long shadows of the elevated sidewalk. His gaze locks onto my feet, and his head slowly starts tracing my physique...up my legs, waist, torso and finally we make eye contact.
I hear him mutter, "Oh Sh*t"
Then I hear Lorraine, "You fcukin' A**hole, you hit him. Didn't you see us crossing the road? Blah Blah Blah"
and I am thinking to myself... Just shut the fcuk-up Lorraine.
Then the little guy fires back, "Who's he? Is he on Drugs?...Yada Yada Yada" ...

Its past Midnight on a work evening. I am feeling drunk, my right foot is beginning to pulse with pain. I have annoying Lorraine and some Gomba Johnny here verbally jousting.

Long story short, this fellow was leaving the local hospital (he spent the entire day with his ailing father...prime reason why he was tired and in position to strike unsuspecting people standing in the middle of the road late in the evening). I truly felt bad for this man, I scared the **** out of him. I never bothered going to the hospital. I suspected that I fractured one (or some) of the bones of my right foot. Nothing looked deformed (just extreme pain). Nothing would be done at the hospital (it would be a waste of time and money).
I went home and napped, sleeping off my drunkness. I got up in time to be at work by Six am.

Had my reflexes been slower and my athleticism less astute, I may very well not be writing this to you at the moment.
Although...I should have let the truck hit Lorraine though, yes?

Bottom line...look both ways when crossing the road. Which I have been doing ever since my little incident on August 17th, 2005.
So that's my story to you all...
How careless and Dumb I was...
and please don't make the same mistake I once made...you may not be as lucky!
Ferric67 Ferric67 36-40, M Apr 22, 2012

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