Growing Pains Or Completely Losing It?

Just recently I realized that I am not the fine specimen of emotional health I would like to think I am. I think have been repressing certain emotions for a long time now. Denial is crazy because you don't know that you don't know. I feel very startled by the strong emotional reactions I've been having. The stress of it has affected my personal life and taken a toll on my body.

I feel like I don't eve know myself anymore, like I am just "discovering" how dysfunctional I have been in regards to properly processing emotions. I feel ashamed that I was that out of touch with who I am...which makes me question just how unaware I am. Like the rug has been pulled out from under me. Who am I? What am I doing?

In the future scheme of things, I'm sure this is all for my betterment, but how long must this go on for? I hate feeling like every other day is a struggle not to lose it. My feelings are bursting to the surface which they apparently need to do...but they don't always come out in appropriate ways; my "crazy" has upset my husband more than once. I'm turning 30 this year, maybe it's a 1/3 life crisis...