Lost In Another World.

I have a similar issue, when it comes to seeing the world as a dream, as an alternate reality. Sometimes I find myself needing a material reminder, something or an experience or even is real. I lose touch of the ability to determine just that, and I also find myself discussing the situation with myself. Always alone, of course, when it happens, I ask and answer myself, as if I were another being outside of my own skin. I felt crazy for so long, I started to hate the world. So, being imaginative, I created another. Inside my head, of course, but entirely real all the same. Because of the HATE of no control, I controlled every little detail in this new world. The people looked the same, the houses and world around me appeared to be all the same. But then I learned to control the personalities, to mold them if you will, into what I needed. the events, everything was under my control. It made me feel more sane, when in all reality I started talking to myself more, shutting down the real world and only living in the one I created. To escape from THAT world, I started doing acid. A year later, I find myself needing the drug to feel in control, to feel at home, finally in MY own world. And I am stuck. I quit, but I cant find reality anymore. Its lost to me, just as who I am anymore, is.

Cornercrawler Cornercrawler
18-21, F
6 Responses Mar 13, 2010

No, you probably won't have to live with this the rest of your life... You'll eventually run out of the drug, or your body gets so reliant on it that when its need becomes commonplace you'll have to stop...this might stop the 'dreamworld', too. But anything can happen.<br />
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I'm sort of the same, I have my own dreamworld and I much prefer it to this one, but drug's wont help it. I have anti-social tendencies a lot, too, but... try working on self control. My friends don't have any clue of what I'm like apart from how I'm like around them; a good self control can help take you back into horrible reality when its necessary.

I can relate, I can definitely relate. However, I didn't go the acid route, I went the shrooms route. However, unlike you, I have found that I am not attempting to seek reality yet. Maybe I will yearn for reality, but maybe...I won't

Haha, a lot of acid. The drug allowed me to see the world in a whole new view, and allowed me to create the one I did. I tried DOI not too long ago, which literally drove me to the point of insanity. Falling back into my old habbits, my world prospered, but the real one around me fell apart without me even knowing. To create a world like this, I hate to tune out everyone and everything. go through a bout of anti-social tendencies, and realize how ****** UP my head truly is.

there is no problem with living in your world it sounds nice

How do i make a world like that.

I just need to know..will I live with this for the rest of my life?