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Apr 16th, 2008
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or anyone who has read my other story they will know that my boyfriend's mother and family hate me and wish I would disappear. My boyfriend has never really stuck up for me, I believe because he is scared of his mother, or it could just be that he does not think that much of me.
Whilst speaking to his mum she mentioned about his dad retiring and he responded by asking if they are going out for a meal or doing something special because he would really like to go.
After he finished the conversation I asked him if he was going out for a meal, to which he replied that he may do, it depends on what they are doing. He then proceeded by asking me if I have a problem with this to which I said of course not, but assume I would not be invited and he just replied by saying that I would not want to go anyway so there obviously wasn't a problem.
I feel hurt now and quite upset. I am not sure whether it is me just being sensitive or whether I have the right to feel like this because surely he should think of me and even if I wanted to go or not, should he not be thinking of us as a couple rather than just himself?
He is self-obsessed and selfish and I am finding that things have to be done his way and everything is on his terms. He never seems to consider my feelings or needs, but if the tables are turned .......
Thank you for listening, I had to get that off my chest!
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  | Posted Apr 17th, 2008 at 1:26AM, last updated Apr 17th, 2008 at 1:31AM Relationships are veeeery tricky... To my mind, this is a warning signal ! If you both do not have a starting point of assisting one another to express the true yous, and supporting each other, there could be - WILL be - trouble and anguish ahead. Relationships are not to be taken lightly if one wants to avoid heartbreak... Best thing is if you can get to a point of not needing a relationship with someone else, by being in a relationship with your Inner Self, your Essential Self, your "I". Then you are stable in and of yourSelf, and a wonky relationship with another won't affect you. Get to know Who You Really Are! :)   |
 | Posted May 25th, 2008 at 7:05PM Wow, I'm not there and I don't know about your situation apart from what you said here and in your other experiences. In that much though, I guess it might kind of be a guy thing. I mean, if I have a girlfriend that my family doesn't mind, I wouldn't hesitate to be like "yea, can I take so-and-so with me as well?" But the few times I've had a g/f I know they don't care for, I'd try to maneuver it so I don't have conflicting interests around each other. I mean, maybe it could've been remedied had he just said "You know you and them are like oil and water, I'd rather not have anything dramatic occur." or some kind of warning/concern? |
 | Posted May 25th, 2008 at 7:13PM Since typing the above a lot has changed in our relationship. He did actually apologise for saying what he did. He is also now sober and therefore not quite so self-obssessed and selfish. He is stronger now and realises the damage his mother etc is causing to me, him and us. I've come to realise myself that I need to be more open and talk to him about how I am feeling etc and he in return, in addition to considering my feelings more. We both have a lot to learn! |
 | Posted May 29th, 2008 at 11:12AM My first father-in-law had no time for me. He was always inviting me to family events he knew I couldn't attend, because I had my Mum to look after. He'd then tell everyone who attended these events that his daughter-in-law had better things to do than be a part of his family. His son - my husband - never supported me. Too scared of his Dad Try not to let it get to you, sweetie. In the end, those who snub you now will be the losers. |
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