One Of My Biggest Sins

I was quite shocked to realize that I am a spoiled brat.

It came so easy to complain about all the things I wish I had. To compare other peoples life’s status, valuables and styles with my own. To want and desire that, which was not mine to seek or desire from the start...

The result was that I got so caught up in this unsatisfactory thought line that I started to feel darkness overpower me, demons whispering in my subconscious, negativity gliding through my being taking me further from myself... Things thought that I am too ashamed to share or even fear to reflect upon again... Lust for others life styles are one of my biggest sins...

I am a lost soul, wondering through this life, seeking myself and believing that one day I will be redeemed and become what I was intended to become.
As for now is it a struggle from day to day – trying to accept who I am, what I can do and to find contentment within.

To realize that I need to find solace, thankfulness and gratefulness for what I have. It is all about choices and I choose from this moment on to see my life as unique and valuable.

Not to have useless wishes to be in someone else’s shoes, to think that I would be content if I only had theirs.... But to strive and be the best I can be and to take it a step at a time to redeem mine.
Tande Tande
31-35, F
Jan 14, 2013