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I need to let go of "the idea" of him....of the "us" that never was or will be. I need to be thankful for the blessing that my husband is to me and my children.
I need to be patient that this storm will pass and that I do not need to set a new course.
I have not cried over my lost lover today, only a small twang of pain in my heart when he crosses my mind.
I do not regret loving him. He deserves love...but mine right now is too cloaked in toxins to be freely given or accepted.
I miss him, but I need to start thinking about life without him.
It's very very difficult...
deleted deleted 26-30 Feb 15

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