100 Seems ImpossibleSo I guess a little background is a good start. As a child I was actually normal weight wise until I was about 7 years old, and I moved back with my mom. We were VERY poor. So for about 2 years we starved... Not kidding, I looked like one of the kids in Africa. That really messes with how your body works. But my mom met a nice man and our lives started getting better, we also ate better. I went back to being normal, at least what I call normal (not a toothpick).At the age of 16 I was about 160pds and 5'4", I was active in sports and my life was going well. My mom however, felt otherwise. She was struggling with her weight and taking her frustrations out on me... Over the years I became less active and more insicure. After moving to another province with my now husband things were looking up. Yes, I was a little overweight but I didnt think I had a real problem.
Then I had 3 kids in 4 years.... I love my kids, and I dont regret anything about how I had them but doing that does have some serious repercussion when you have a history of weight problems. I'm now about 260 pds.... I'll admit it doesn't really look it, for some reason I dont look that big but I know its way to much and it needs to change. My diet isnt really the problem, (not anymore), my problem is not being active enough to compansate with my ****** slow metabolism and hypoglossimia. So finally this morning, after weeks of putting it off and feeling awful about myself and everything around me I decided to really look at my problems. I dont want my kids to have a fat mom, I dont want my life cut short, and I want to feel good about my life and by extension improving the life of those around me. (being around a misserable person makes others feel the same). My problems are stress (I have an anxiety dissorder from a childhood trauma), I dont exercise enough, and I procrastinate. So I made myself a promise, NO MORE! I need to find a way to manage my time better and actually ask for help from those around me and my stress will be lower, I stick with exercising and my stress levels will get better and I'll feel more and more energy to keep doing what I need to do. And of course no more putting things off. All things I knew intellectually but lacked the courage to do. And now I tell myself I have no choice but to follow through. I need to lose about 100 pds. I know it took me years to pack it on, it'll take time to take off. When I think, 100 pds, it seems impossible. How will I actually do it... For so long I've felt like I was destined to be fat. But its just in my head. So I have to conquer my fear and set aside excuses. Its time for me to change, I deserve to be happy and healthy. So here goes. wish me luck.
muffinmeister 26-30 3 Responses 1 Mar 24, 2011