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Well I have never blogged but I just got this idea in my head one day that maybe if I start putting down into words my struggles and challenges it will help me overcome them. So, here goes... I am a young mother of two, married to a soldier, student who has finished a licensed practical nursing program and am currently enrolled in college to complete pre-requisites for RN school. I still don't know if that is what I want to do, but I am in-decisive about a lot of things. I am 202lbs and 5'7" I am considered obese as far as BMI charts are considered but most people who see me say they don't believe I weigh as much as I do. Like I would lie to make myself fatter...Ha! I have lost 14 lbs which is a good step, but I have fallen off the wagon once again. I worked out and ate right for about a month, losiing 16lbs and then I stopped, and gained back 2. Everyday I constantly think about my weight and how much I hate the way I look but I don't know what my problem is, I know how to eat right and exercise, but I have no motivation to do it. I am lazy I guess. I had a goal at the beginning of the year to lose 50lbs by my anniversary which is May 4. It is now April 5 less than a month away and I know when my anniversary gets here I will have failed. I am trying to find the deep meaning as to why I don't just get off my *** and do it. I am overwhelmed with the fact that I need to lose 50 pounds I feel like it is unattainable and impossible. I am hoping that by posting when I am struggling and when I am craving things I shouldn't eat, that it will help, even if no one reads this or is interested I am getting it out of my system. I struggle a lot at night i wait until my husband goes to sleep and "closet eat" it is going to make me gain back all the weight I have lost and I have got to stop!!!!!!!!!!!! We'll see how it goes.....
soldierswife131 soldierswife131 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 5, 2011

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