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Cork That Arse Please

Dear mam,
As I stood behind you in the checkout line at Walgreens it occurred to me that maybe you had issues reading the credit card swipe machine thing. It clearly stated that in fact, "no you can not get $60 back in cash as it only allows up to a $20 maximum", but no, that didn't stop you from repeatedly trying the same swipage over and over until finally on the 7th try the nice Hindi cashier, training the special needs fellow, decided to tell you about the policy. Fine. So be it. All I wanted was a bag of minty cough drops, and some apple juice after all. But that was not enough. After 10 minutes of struggling with the aforementioned machine you decided to let off a wee bit of SBD, just before leaving. Talk about marking your territory. This was about the foulest fart I have ever had the privilege of stumbling upon. Be that as it may, what the fukk did I ever do to you, except for maybe tap my foot a smidge impatiently?  I am not sure what you ate for lunch but my GOD! right there in front of me? Seriously? You couldn't hold it for say five more seconds?

Sincerely,
Bubkiss
NotLarryBubkiss NotLarryBubkiss 36-40, M 9 Responses Nov 13, 2012

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LOL..entertaining, to bad it was true though ;)

Its funny now. People need to warn you before they do that. I had my mouth open and everything

OMG..you poor thing...should I contact the hospital? Or will you manage to recover on your own ;)

Its the start of the zombpocolypse

LOL! I can not contain my laughter. Thanks for this!

Oh Madam you are so very welcome :)

=]

What a foul woman!

Hi Kitty! She put the ooooo in poo. I can still smell it. *sigh*

I wonder if she did it at you? Nah,she's just gross. If I did that I would walk very quickly out of there.

She scurried like a cockroach under the quick flick of the kitchen lights

Ah OK

imagines a cockroach in plaid and denim scurrying about the walgreen's!!!

There are motherfukkin coach roaches in this motherfukking Wallgreens

Taco truck? Thats what they call them..roach coach rather lol

why is larry shopping at a walgreens that has cockroaches????

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Not very lady like. Did you say something? I don't think I would've been able to keep my mouth shut about that.

She farted and then fled. Kind of a hit and run...

Lol. I'm laughing. I don't even know how to reply to this. She's nasty.

"hind" site is 50/50

Not terribly old in normal years. I would say 45-50 range which in Midwest terms means she looked 68.

wut???? LMFAO.... is this some government conspiracy, is HAARP doing this? Do you not have binders to keep your women in ?

Yep. Bought my binders at Wallgreen's......well they are more like Peachie Folders

Sorry larry.. but I forgot my glasses at home and couldn't read the machine! As for the fart.. well you had that coming from what you did in 8th grade to your history teacher. Sincerely, God.

It's what she did to me! I was young and impressionable and she took advantage of that by turning me into a man, and as for your cross dressing sensibilities you don't pull off Midwestern obesity in plaid very well, however I will say blue is your color from your jean jacket to your royal navy socks. Well done. Keep it up and we can call you CrapperCoil. pew!

I like that coppy is now signing his posts as God. This is delightful to me in so many ways!!

I hope God doesn't want me to stop touching myself. I'm going to hell......

Coppy is my shepherd; I shall not want...

is this why we call the seats in the house of Cop "church pews"????

Pew is right!

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This is one of those things that you get pissed off about then laugh about later. I once waited in the like at Wal-Mart for an hour. Once it was finely my turn, the manager came over and said that the register was closing and pointed to another long *** line for me to wait in.

I once laughed maniacally as I stepped off a very crowded elevator that I had just farted in....it didn't stink though.

Were you at Wallgreen's today per chance?

no...I told you my farts don't stink.

Red herring?

.popcorn

You put the p in opcorn :)

.lmao

*farts at EP code writers*

If you are going to get their attention better eat something a bit more substantial

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ewwww lmao

So wrong, I know......I will never be the same

. poor Larry =(

It was like when Geraldo opened up Al Capones Vault. Nothing but bad air came out.....of the vault too

.did she look back at you to see your face? did the cashier smell it too?!

I think the cashier thought it was the special needs person she was training. The special needs person (nice kid) was just trying to pronounce my last name as he did with all his customers and the lady just strolled out as if she won the lottery. She was the only "big" winner today ;[

.she is sitting at home laughing at you

*bows head in shame

*giggles*

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