I Need to Stop It
I need to stop two things:
1. Constantly thinking. THE BRAIN NEVER SHUTS UP. Ever. I'm always planning or analyzing or comparing or reviewing or daydreaming. There is never silence in my head. Sometimes, it cranks up to a roar (especially upon the analysis of an embarrassing situation) and becomes unbearable.
The other day I made my brain shut up (it was very difficult) and it was such a FREE feeling!
It lasted for about 2 minutes, and then I gave up. The concentration wasn't worth the peace!!
2. Having crushes on random guys. On random guys that Are Not My Boyfriend, basically - depending on what I feel is lacking most direly at the moment, I crush on the guy that has That Elusive Something. Sometimes it's a love for China. Sometimes it's an easy manner and quick, light banter. Sometimes it's plain old attention. Sometimes it's sciencey-ness.
I need to stop! Because he's awesome and I love him.
Also, my hyperactive brain grabs a guy I find attractive and spins him around and then suddenly I can't get him out of my head, and he functions in my daydreams and eventually in my night-dreams.
My brain creeps me out...
