Military Guy- Felt Like I Lost Everything

  These past couple months have been really hard on me with everything that has been going on. My wifes parents have disliked me and have always tried to get me away from there daughter. Right now i'm leaving for Basic and coming back to idk what. My wife is 19 weeks pregnant and has moved all of her things out and has screwed me on rent. On top of which has changed all her numbers and blocked me from everything so i have no way to contact her to figure things out with my child. I never abused her i never touched her we just argued alot because i'm young and was scared about being a father. To me i know what i did wrong in our relationship and i know what i need to do to fix it and be apart of their life but she won't even allow me to. I've always lived my life for my family and did the best i could for her so what hurts the most is i have nothing to show for in our relationship because i never did anything for myself. I'm wanting to be a dad and be a good husband but i don't even know where to start. I don't want to argue with her anymore because i know how much this child means to her and myself. I don't want to get deployed in december not be able to see my child before i leave. I sit here alone wanting to work things out but have no way to do them.... willing to give up anything and everything i have just to see and ultrasound picture of my son/daughter. To be able to see my child when i get back before i get deployed. I just feel so useless and empty with-out her. I feel no purpose, no anything if i can't be with my child. Theres so much that has happened that was bad i'm just wanting to forgive and forget and atleast have a decent relationship for our childs sake and was told that she hopes i die and don't get to ever see my child. It ripped my heart to peices and just need someone to talk to before i leave because i'm falling apart.
Militaryman1992 Militaryman1992
2 Responses May 14, 2012

You need to tell her what caused you to act in ways that she felt were wrong. I didn't say you were wrong. But she apparently thinks so. Fear of being a dad at your young age isn't unusual at all. You would be an uncaring jerk if you weren't afraid. I think it might make a difference if you could tell her that. I take it that she is young also. Both of you have a lot of growing to do. As far as her parents, well, they think they are doing what is best for their daughter. Win them over by being the best person you can be. Look them in the face when you talk to them. Be respectful even when it is hard. I know at your age, you probably think real men don't admit they are afraid. But the truth is all people are afraid at times in their lives and it takes a real man to admit it. Now go level with the girl and show her how much her young man has grown. She is scared too. Her body is changing and she knows that baby is coming. She probably felt a need to run back to mommy and daddy cuz she got scared. Keep that in mind when you talk to her and then tell her that both of you need to help each other. You can't carry the full load and neither can she. Agree to do it together. Good luck on your training. It might be a good idea if you can work this thing out agreeably before your training so you got a clear head for it. I am wishing the very best for you.

It seems Ur wife has been listening to her parents to much. I know u want to work things out with her and be able to see Ur child. but sometimes u gotta give her some space. tell her how u feel and what u want. that's if u can get ahold of her. once u told her just wait a little. god can work in wonderful ways. ... if u wanna chat more just message me. :)