It's Complicated

I'm gay and in love with a straight guy for about 6 years now. He doesn't know and over the past year he's become my best guy friend but i'm pretty sure i'm not his. He once said that he will never be friends with a gay person and therefore i cannot tell him how i feel. But it kills me inside to know that i will do anything and everything for him yet nothing will ever come out of it. It also hurts me so much to know that he's keeping so many secrets from me. But i guessed that it is fair since i've also kept my biggest secret from him. I never wished for any of this to happen. I feel that all my other friends don't seem to understand how i feel and might even be getting sick listening to me. I find myself going deeper and deeper into the path of self loathe and destruction and is desperately finding an outlet for all my jealousy, anger, disappointment and sadness.
An Ep User An EP User
1 Response Jan 19, 2013

No worries. My ex is gay and I loved him so much. I suffered so much because of him. But, believe me, it gets better. We never know what can happen. Life is such a crazy *****. And I truly believe you will find someone completely worth it. My grandma always told me that, in life, we have a passion and a love. Maybe he's just your passion and it may seem really hard to believe you'll get over it. I swear to you, you will find your love and be happy. Right now, just let things happen and tell me how they are doing. Hope I can help you whenever.