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No Life,no Friends And I Hate Myself.

A 15 year old kid on a website telling his story to the world.I find no point in living any more.I have had a bad life so far and it's not getting better.Most people told me to live up my teens and said"You will love it,you can get on with your life" but i spend most of my time in my room.All cause of a few people make a few bad choices.All starts of when i was a kid,me and mom were on are own and she was 20 or 21.We did not have much but i was happy.I still look back and see how happy i was.When the party,my mom was have party in the house and i was spend to my room.I felt like my mom just got lost in her own little world,it made me cry so much.The next morning my dad was where with a pup i called rocky.That feeling only came once and i like it.For the next few weeks were so full with happy and good feelings.When he came,i still know what he looks like.I never liked him,his face was fake and my mom couldn't see the man behind the mask.Frist mouth or two was okay.We showed each other respect and we were just were good friends.But then he started to drink and call my mom bad names.It makes me so anger that a human could as things like that to the person they love.Then it came to me.I just took it.I was just getting thought life that way.I just went up to my room and went to sleep.The next morning were the "SORRY AND I WILL NEVER DO IT AGIN!".Then for 2 years of my life I just fought to live.I took the pain of punches and kicks to I bleed.Then we moved to ballymane people were so carefull around me because of them.I had no friends and family.But one person was kind to me a boy.I never knew his name but he knew my name.We did things togather as friends would.How could he like me i will never know but i will be thank full for his kindess.My mom stop me seeing him she didn't want people to find want was happeing to me.When the night came he was pucnching me and kicking me when my mom steped in stopped.He made us site down and told us "His dad or your family your choice" i told my mom to phone my dad he would take us in even thought he had a girlfriend.She didn't.My grandad and unlces came down and run towards him.He got away.I hate them for that.I just wanted to die and he would kill me and i would be in pace but no.After that  went to live wilt my grandparnts.For thoes 4 years of pace and my good friends i would give any thing back to get them.Then my teens came first two years were fine i had so many friends and i was getting good exams.Then my mom got back in my life.I hate her for that but she is my mom.It was okay.Then came the anger i started to disrespect my grandparnts.I losted it with boys in my school i hurnt them so much and i did it to a girl i hate myself for that.I was turning into him.So i got help and it's worked for the anger.But i hate myself and can't be myself around people.I want to die but something is keeping me going.I think it is to meet some one who understands .So i would to thank my grandpeants for everthing.Would all so like to thank my friends for being there and i ma sorry i can't be my old self.I am all so sorry to that girl and thanks.I am sorry i hate my self.Sorry the bad spelling.
anthony428 anthony428 13-15 2 Responses Dec 16, 2011

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Xoxo<br />
Love to you

I am so very sorry that no one has commented on your terrible situation. You are very brave and very strong. I am glad the counseling is helping with your anger, however I have MAJOR concerns about your safety. Please message me if you are still using this site. Or speak to ANY adult you can TRUST.<br />
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Sending you love peace and good energy<br />
xoxo<br />
<br />
Lynn