I'm So Scared.

I am absolutely terrified of my ex boyfriend. No, he never physicially threatened me or has hurt me, but he threatens my current happiness and thats the scariest part. I have no one to talk to about this. I tried talking to my mother, and asking her to please stop contacting him and talking to him, I don't want him in my life and she said I was being mean. Heres some background. I began dating my ex when I was a freshman in high school and he was a senior. We stayed together on and off for 3 years. I was naive and dumb. In college he cheated on me all the time, he told me about it, but that doesn't make it any better. He proposed we have an "open-relationship" which I agreed to, and I still don't know why. It was only one sided for him. I'm not the type to sleep around, I don't party, I was in high school. He did terrible things through out our relationship like tell his exes he still loved them. He limited my social life, and told a lot of girls that I hated them and told me they hated me just so I wouldn't be friends with his friends. I don't know why I put up with it. The whole relationship wasn't bad, he got along great with my parents and we could have fun and be the craziest goofiest people around each other but eventually good days would turn into bad. He started putting me down a lot, even if he didn't mean it, it hurt my self esteem. I'm 5'5 and 100 lbs and he would tell me my thighs were getting "fat". Just stuff that didn't makes sense. He was so controlling, towards the end of our relationship I made excuses to not kiss him or sleep with him and he could tell. He would just get mad and crazy and tell me that i'm killing him. I finally broke free from him, after an occasion where he was supposed to pick me up from a high school marching band practice when my parents were out of town. Well he didn't. His parents ended up taking me home to their house where I slept in his room by myself. Turns out later that he was with a another girl. He told me he was planning on us "going on a break" again that weekend, he just jumped the gun. I was so upset, as I always was. But this time, a few weeks later I met another guy. We started dating and he is seriously my favorite person in the world, I have never met someone sweeter. My current boyfriend and I have now been dating over a year. In the beginning of our relationship my ex and I were friends but since then he has gotten creepier and creepier. It started out when he would try to kiss me. I wouldn't let him and he would start to cry and say I didn't think he was attractive anymore. Then he started getting tattoos... My current boyfriend has had sleeves. I started to turn away from my ex but he would call me all the time crying. I felt bad so I would talk to him. But always it would turn into him saying I was horrible and selfish because I wouldn't break up with my boyfriend for him. Its gotten to the point now where twice, he has contacted my boyfriend and made up all these stories about how I've been cheating on him or how I am a horrible person. The last time it happened, I was afraid my boyfriend was going to break up with me and that blew the last straw. "I called my ex out on it and said that just because you are unhappy doesn't give you the right to make me unhappy. I'm sorry you are hurt but I am never ever getting back together with you. Don't talk to me ever again. I hate you" and I meant it. He would text me threatening that he wanted to kill my boyfriend but after ignoring him he stopped. I felt better, things were great but awhile ago I found out my ex has been going through my mother to find out about me. And with my mother's support he has started contacting me again. She's even invited him to "come over anytime". Apparently he has been seeing a counselor but I still don't want to talk to him. I know my mom prefers him, I've even told her about all he did throughout our relationship and its like it goes in one ear and out the other. I replied to him in the first time in months the other day when he asked if i wanted to hang out saying "No I don't, also (current boyfriend) wouldn't be comfortable with that" and he got mad and flipped out saying i would just "Guilt him anyways", I didn't respond. Today he just texted me completely normal "So wanna hang out you never answered?" I just want him to go away. I'm so scared of him and I wish my mother would help me. I want to run away and be with my boyfriend and be happy. I don't want him. Does that make me a bad person?
cranpome cranpome
1 Response Dec 5, 2012

You are not the bad person here. You need to call someone, have all this documented... Just in case. This man sounds crazy, at the least creepy. Sit your mom down and make her listen to you, and hear what you're telling her. Again... Make her listen to you, and hear what you're telling her. Get a restraining order. I'm worried about you. I've heard of people like him. Be careful.