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I Don't Know What To Do.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Last July, his ex-girlfriend came back from England for a few weeks. While she was here, he cheated on me with her (she gave him a blow job). I was angry of course but I really thought we were a great couple and we are. So I forgave him and we moved on.

Though for 2 months afterwards I checked his facebook messages and saw that they still talked a lot.

All was well until October at a party when I got really drunk and kissed a close friend of mine (A). My boyfriend was angry of course but he forgave me quickly because he understood it was like getting even (though it wasn't really).

Then in November, it was said A's birthday and again I was really drunk. My boyfriend was also drunk and started a fight out of nothing with me and then left. So I was asleep when A came in where I was sleeping and started kissing me. I was really drunk so I kissed him back and in the morning left straight away.

After I cheated on my boyfriend twice, I decided it was time to break up even though I was completely in love with him still (I know when you love someone you don't cheat on them etc).

So we broke up but then got back together when we talked and told each other we still loved each other.

So after all this I found out he had been reading my text messages to A. They weren't bad or anything just normal subjects but he seemed sad because I still wanted to be friends with A, even though he had tried to steal me from my boyfriend.

So after all this, things were finally getting back on track when I went on facebook and he was still logged in. His messages were up and I could see that his ex had sent him naked photos of herself and he had gladly accepted them.

I was furious and told him so and told him to stop doing it.

A few days later I went on his computer to use it for something and I found a folder of naked photos of her and video of her ************. I deleted it and didn't tell him.
I also went on Skype and saw AGAIN naked photos of herself.

A week later I found more naked photos on an app on his phone and had a full panic attack. We talked again about it and he seemed apologetic.

So tonight, I went on Facebook and she had written 'go on skype, i sent them'.

So now, I'm sitting here crying because I know every reply will say break up but I really love this guy and life will be very different without him. We just booked a 3 night holiday in QLD for our anniversary and I feel like that's such a waste but I don't think I can be happy with him until then.

I'm not even angry, just scared and lost and I feel so alone.

I don't have a best friend - A was my closest friend- so I have no one to talk to but the internet.

****..
An Ep User An EP User 2 Responses Jan 23, 2013

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Hi, when I read this, I feel kinda of angry. But not to your boyfriend, to you (sorry) because you let him treat you this way. He might treat you nice and respect you but still it's counted as cheating when he received those naked photos. And cheating is worst than beating a girlfriend. I said this relationship is doom. I'm not cursing it but from seeing this kind of thing happened around me with my own eyes. Let say if you forgive him and he PROMISES he will never do it again, you guys get married bla bla bla. Who say he'll never cheated on you again? You know what they said, once cheated, will always do. I know you said you kissed ur friend, but from your story, you regreted it and never do it again. But HE keeps receiving those naked photos. Toughen up and break up. Leave him. Never EVER get back together no matter how in love you are with him. Just leave while you still have your dignity. I'm sorry for my harsh words, but I did said it to my friend, she never listened to me. Look where it got her. Married and cheated just 1 month after the wedding. Divorcing after 1,5 months from the wedding. Do yourself a favour, call him, said you know that he receiving all the naked photos and you are leaving him for good. He can be back to his exgf for all you care because he's not worth it. Not worth your heartbreak. Just say that you are DONE. You have better thing to do. Please consider my suggestion. I'm here if you want to talk more. You can email me. I don't want to see another woman breaking.

Hi, I know you love him, but you can't keep living like this, change is necessary for you to be happy. Everyone deserves to be happy! What I'm saying is...be honest with yourself, you are not happy the way things are going. There are many good guys out there, more than you think, who will love you for who you are, and who won't hurt you the way he did. It's up to you, you can make a change, and make yourself happy. ONLY YOU can do that! If you need someone to talk to, I'll be there if you want to. Hope on a positive outcome for you. Hugs xxx