I Don't Know What To Do.

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year. Last July, his ex-girlfriend came back from England for a few weeks. While she was here, he cheated on me with her (she gave him a blow job). I was angry of course but I really thought we were a great couple and we are. So I forgave him and we moved on.

Though for 2 months afterwards I checked his facebook messages and saw that they still talked a lot.

All was well until October at a party when I got really drunk and kissed a close friend of mine (A). My boyfriend was angry of course but he forgave me quickly because he understood it was like getting even (though it wasn't really).

Then in November, it was said A's birthday and again I was really drunk. My boyfriend was also drunk and started a fight out of nothing with me and then left. So I was asleep when A came in where I was sleeping and started kissing me. I was really drunk so I kissed him back and in the morning left straight away.

After I cheated on my boyfriend twice, I decided it was time to break up even though I was completely in love with him still (I know when you love someone you don't cheat on them etc).

So we broke up but then got back together when we talked and told each other we still loved each other.

So after all this I found out he had been reading my text messages to A. They weren't bad or anything just normal subjects but he seemed sad because I still wanted to be friends with A, even though he had tried to steal me from my boyfriend.

So after all this, things were finally getting back on track when I went on facebook and he was still logged in. His messages were up and I could see that his ex had sent him naked photos of herself and he had gladly accepted them.

I was furious and told him so and told him to stop doing it.

A few days later I went on his computer to use it for something and I found a folder of naked photos of her and video of her ************. I deleted it and didn't tell him.
I also went on Skype and saw AGAIN naked photos of herself.

A week later I found more naked photos on an app on his phone and had a full panic attack. We talked again about it and he seemed apologetic.

So tonight, I went on Facebook and she had written 'go on skype, i sent them'.

So now, I'm sitting here crying because I know every reply will say break up but I really love this guy and life will be very different without him. We just booked a 3 night holiday in QLD for our anniversary and I feel like that's such a waste but I don't think I can be happy with him until then.

I'm not even angry, just scared and lost and I feel so alone.

I don't have a best friend - A was my closest friend- so I have no one to talk to but the internet.

****..