I need to talk, about very serious things, things that gets to me. Not little girly things, things that are mostly destructive, just one of them could destroy one's life, and I have lived several  of them. not loved by parents, lied about biological father( who wanted/wants? to knwo me), ******, rape. I've taken care of myself alone. I feel exhausted. 


Okay, then, my salary can afford me to see a psychiastrist, or more, liek I think I'd need, an analyst. I could go for a "free" psychiatrist (not what I need), and first they "touch" you, for a "routine" medical treat, mys ***, and I can't stand to be touched by people I don't know, if I don't consent, I don't want to live that more, to the rest. 


You know what? I wish there were more doctors like House, at least what he does , fcitionally of course, is for his patients. Not for a stupid commonplace ethics, that's not etichics than just a law that is old, has-been.

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15 Responses Feb 20, 2009

Taken care of yourself? ... absolute Respect. Thats what im trying to do with myself now.

wow, i thought i had it bad

wow, i thought i had it bad

If you share your burdens you lessen the load however listening is only half the story. It will not change your personal experiences and the burden must be very heavy....

Understanding comes from knowing yourself . I think you've temporarily lost that . Go to the library and read some self help book ," just read "not making them into bible or thesis for your life . Grounding is what you are looking for , then you can move on . Read the first two sentence and last sentence in every paragraph ,be done with the book in an hour not more .

The same way I knew that I did need her in my life .

Scully, my heart truly goes out to you. We have walked very similiar paths in our life. It may not mean much, but I understand and know what you're going through. I'm here if you ever want to talk.

His loneliness was just temporary , it past or he was worried about his mortality , it pasted . Worst he could be just be playing with you . <br><br />
You did need him the last part of your life and you'll not need him in the future . If you see him tell him sod off . If not good riddance .<br><br />
If he's rich , cozy up to him and leach off him until he's a shell .<br />
NO forgiveness is needed

Truth is ten years ago , I had what I wanted . But She thought I need more . So she fain pregnancy to get me into a relationship , so that I would be more complete . Now with three children and no longer together , I adjust . The previous three years were hell on earth . Now is very much better , because I know hell is what you make of it . <br />
I planted a marker and moved away from it , as hard and as devastating as it may seem at that time . <br />
You do know nothing stay constant unless you want it , and at time even when you do want it it doesn't . It will all work out if you are willing to open your eye and keep moving . <br />
Life hard and can be very harsh , but your in the same boat as everyone else accept you are willing to share and let other advise whether useful or not .<br />
Its good to hear other perspective , you'd be surprise how willing other are will to help .

Truth will only come when the other is will to share . Know what you want and go from there .If your father what to build a new relationship with you ,and you are not ready say so . Make it for a later set date .

The truth is you should go see someone and get some real help. I'm not trained in what to say to make you better and only you knows what will make you better. Good luck. x

Being lonely is a very difficult and confusing time for everybody . Everybody deals with it differently and most not constructively . <br />
Don't know enough , but to assume . I would guess the initial contact from your father is an attempt to cure his loneliness to his benefit and not to yours . <br />
For you I hope you can go for a walk with someone , if not by yourself . Walking will help ground you and the fresh air will help .<br />
The self destructiveness , is your way off coping . Not the best way but hey if it works for you , so be it . Does it help you to move on ?

let us carry some of the burden .

Bless, Well EP sounds like a great start to getting stuff out and to be quite honest I think theres enough people like house on here you should be just fine.x

Break are hearts ,What do you want to share or discuss .