My Husbands "secret"

Hi everyone. Please don't judge or make immature comments. I just need to vent and maybe find another woman who's had to deal with this situation.

My husband is a wonderful man and father. He dosen't smoke or drink, or hang with the guys. He works 13hr days then comes home to his family. We have been married 12yrs. 

A few days ago he comes home sick from work with the flu. While he was resting his phone rings. I answer it so it dosen't disturb him. After the call I get nosy and check his text messages...never find anything. I guess it's a woman thing? Or my own insecurities. Anyway.... I'm messing around with the email and two messages come up. ...To say the least I was absolutely floored with these after reading them. I actually felt sick to my stomach, then just disbelief. They weren't't from woman as i've always feared. They were responses to a local ad site. Apparently my husband is curious and wants the power over another man by giving him head!! The posts were very descriptive and my husband seemed very eager to experience this. Big breath here. Of course I went right into our room and confronted him. At the end, he just says I want to feel dominate over another man by doing this....But wait LMAO, there's more. While we are discussing this I innocently ask him if there's anything more.....Geeeezzzz. He waits long moments before he looks me in the eyes and says.......He's been dressing in woman's clothing for a sexual rush since he was young!! He says it gets him hard, he jerks off and that's the end of it. Can you see my dilemma here?? So, I asked him flat out if he was gay. He absolutely is not gay. He's had ample time in his life to experiment with other men if he wanted to. He doesn't't want to be a woman, ever. Just did it to get hard. His words. He has worn his high heel shoes before during sex, I knew about those. But all this other stuff??????? Was I not stressed enough with my son having cancer??!!!!

Is there any mature woman who has gone through this and can give me advice? Do we need counseling? Do I need counseling???? Help!!!! 

PsychoMomOf4 PsychoMomOf4
41-45, F
1 Response May 11, 2010

im not gonna lie im straight but guys give me that rush too. its normal. some experimentation wouldnt hurt