Numb & Alone...
Lately my mom is always pushing me away...everytime I go to sit by her she yells at me that she needs her space. She makes really rude comment to me but no one else. So yesterday I wanted to talk to her about things. It hurts me when she does this to me...I don't want to be pushed away. I told her why can't she be more friendly towards me. She says...."I'm your mother not your friend." She used to be both...she used to listen. We never do anything together anymore. Yeah she says, we got o the store,a dn exercise, and talk. I say no mom, I tell you stuff. You never tell me ANYTHING. I'm so freakin shut out and I'm SICK of it. Sick and tired.I need a friend. i lost my best friend and she's in another state doing drugs all the time, and the guy that I'm in love with broke my heart. So EXCUSE me If I just need a friend.
Then she felt REALLY bad = / And I felt sorta *****-like for losing it. But my plate is flowing over lately with everything. SO MUCH. And I don't like fighting with her. In fact we barely fight because I try to avoid it. But I am sick of being pushed away. I had also had to see my psychiatrist that day so it was just bad overall.
Today things are better. So far, and my mom is more friendly. I hope she can find a way to open up more tome.