I Done Something Bad And I Feel Terrible

I'm 14 and this past summer I met a boy in Philly I live in Miami. We Skype for almost a year until I did something terrible. He falls asleep while we r Skypeing and I get bored and I am up. I want attention so I start to talk to older men online. Their was this on guy I actually met in person. He was a kool guy. He is 21. He offers to take me to the beach at night so I so ok and I told my bf he's mad he hangs up deletes his self off of my Facebook and stuff. I was like ok I went with the guy I snuck out and went I never been out the house like that( I'm homeschooled so I'm always home) so I enjoy looking at the water and talking to him. He kissing me and I fell for it. Then he laid me down and opened my legs and started to finger me. I'm a virgin he was experienced. After he was done we both looked and started kissing again. He wanted me to rub his **** but I couldn't I was to shy to even see it. We stop after all that he takes me back home. I had a wonderful time. I know that I just cheated on my bf. so my bf decides to be my friend again and he unlocks me from his facebooknand Skype so we Skype and he just wanted to know what happen at the beach. I told him he got really mad I relize that I did something terrible. Now I feel alone my bf was my best friend we talked all nite we went homeschool cuz of me. He really knows me. And I hurt him. I really loved him but I knew I was never going to philly ever again. I'm so upset and I can't tell my fam cuz I would get n loads of trouble. I'm sad. I need help I don't know what to do. I'm alone cuz I don't have a good relationship with my parents. I have no friends. I really love my bf but I don't know why I went with the guy I hardly knew and let him touch me. I'm so angry I just wish I can die. Or at least go back to cutting cuz of my messed up choices. I'm soo hurt.
Loveandpeace14 Loveandpeace14
13-15, F
May 9, 2012