Step Mom All Or Nothing

Please bare with me as this is my first ime to post on anything like this. I just had another incident with my husband and his son and Im totally distrout over this. It has been going on along time but I just cant take it anymore. When I first met my current husband we were both coming out of long relationships that ended badly. He has a 13 year old son, he was 7 when we got together. His real mother has never been a stable person and only lies, steals and manipulates him when she does see him maybe 2 or 3 times every six months, but to hear her tell it she the worlds best mother. HA! Anyway, I have no children of my own but have always felt it was very important for my step son not feel that I was taking his daddy away from him so I have always made sure they have their time together. His son has always been a very good child as far as manners and school work etc. Here lately ,maybe its the teen years, he would rather stand there and lie to my face for no reason over something so not important than to tell the truth. We used to be close. I have never tried to be his mother just his friend and have always reinforced that she is his mother and he is suppose to love her no matter what but he is at the age the he is old enough to decide if he wants to see her or not. We support him either way. He has chosen not to here lately and thats fine we dont question him on it. I have always taken care of this child as he was my own, from birthday parties, school, extra activties everything. Sadly his father did not even come to his graduation here recently. It seems I am expected to do all the mother work here lately but not get any appreciation for it. My step son would rather cower around the house or hide in his room until his father gets home then hide up his *** thinking Im not going to question him about his chores. His dad is an alcoholic and would rather over look everything just to not have to deal with it. So everyday while my husband and his friend are piled up in my house after work (4 hours a day may i say)drinking and telling stories that his son does NOT need to hear Im the one cooking cleaning running here and there and everywhere. My step son will pick up after his self and he has to wash his own clothes but If I have to remind him to do something he runs crying to his daddy like a little ***** and his dad starts yelling at me all the while his son is sitting and smerking. I do not like to fight or argue esp. in front of his son but I do say whats on my mind and will not be talked down to by any man. I am an independent woman and have never and will never depend on a man for a damn thing in this world. I want my step son to grow up to be a good person. His dad is a good hearted person but has issues like we all do. I just cant take this white lies and manipulating bullshit anymore! Something has to change or they have to get out of my house for good. Perfect example: My day so far. Wake up at six a.m., let the dogs out, feeed them, get ready for work, leave the house, everyone else still in bed dont think they even got out of bed yesterday, come to work, about 10:00 am send my step son a msg saying its nice and cool outside this morning if you want to try and cut the yard (thats takes a total of 10 mins TOPS), I hear nothing from him for two hours so I call to see if he got the msg since he doesnt answer the phone for me anymore and only calls me when he needs me to pick up something for him or a ride somewhere, I asked if he got my message and could he not respond, igot a I WAS CUTTING THE GRASS, i say THANK YOU i didnt know if we had gas or you even got the msg. and I'll see you at lunch, his response-SEE YOU AT LUNCH. two second later i get a msg from his dad-wtf is your problem? I repeated everything to him that I had said to his son and got NO RESPONSE until he needed a ride to work on MY lunch break. So i leave for my lunch break have to go get his medication, drive 15 minutes to pick them up, ask if they need lunch before I drop them off- NO. pull up to drop them off not even a thank you, kiss my ***, nothing! Now I have to rush back to work pissed as hell with no lunch and now he wants me to leave work early to take his son to karate while he is sitting on his *** at the bar then come sit soberly for two hours with him waitin to go back and pick his son up. What is wrong with me? Why have I put up with this for so long. I do not want my step son to be like his mother or father in a lot of way and neither do his grandparents but come on, I cant continue to live this way. Im not perfect my any means and have never claimed to be. I have sacrificed everything for this child as if he was my own and would still hurt someone over him, but not getting any respect back is disgusting me. I cant even speak to him with out getting bitched at!
jen121977 jen121977
2 Responses May 22, 2012

13. Wow. You're just at the beginning of a very difficult time. If your guy is not appreciating your effort, I'd recommend you find a new guy.

Some men are very immature and yes he is expecting you to raise his son and take care of anything that has to be done in the house or outside, I know from experience, but the children are my own and would do anything for them, and I see the same thing happening to you, he sits back and does nothing to control his son and doesn't care what he is doing. It is time to decide if you want to live like this, and I am sure you don't and his son will be angry with you, but living like this is just not ok...sooner or later it will eat you up into a drepression, if they dont realize the sacrifices you are doing for them.

You are exactly right. The depression is horrible. Once before I "thought" I was depressed but never like this. I dont even want to get out of bed and that is not me at all. I love the out doors. Grew up in the country living at the river on weekends. Now I work all day, go home fix supper and clean up and go straight to bed. I'll sleep all weekend if someone doesnt call and make me get up. I know Im only hurting myself but its just hard. How can it be so good when my step son is gone and then when he comes homes it horrible.I cant even stand to be in the same room with him or look at him most of the time. I feel like a horrible person for saying that but its the truth. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comment.I greatly appreciate it.