Broken

This is my first time reaching out to anyone. I am different than others. My mind feels broken some times. I have others in my mind. They are not me. They claim to have their own lifes. They even have their own personalities. They talk to me all the time. I don't know if i should like them or not.
 There are three dominant ones.They fight and struggle for power. Adults say i have a migrane or I'm imagining it. I am not dreaming they are real. They yell at me and pick on me. I am not imagining it and it is not called make believe. I call it something else. I call it a warzone.
 They fight eachother. I use to have my own personality, but they are ruleing now. The three strongest are Axel, Elk, and Sean. Axel is dominant. I have parts of his strange personality. Elk dominates intelligence wise. I on the other hand am smart but not a genius. Elk is powerfull anough to talk to me anytime. Sean is the weakest of the three. He has his strengths, but they are few and far between.
 Elk just likes to help me. Hes not rude or spoiled. Hes very shy and cautious, but he helps me in school. He tells me to save money and to do the smart thing. He wants me to stay quiet and to pay attention.
 Axel is rude and mean. He fills my head with thoughts I don't want. He screams at me when he feels I can be doing something better. if I go to bed early he punishes me by making my sleep unrestfull. Ten hours of sleep, or not im still tired. At least he helps a little when it comes to football. The only thing he likes.
 Sean is a spoiled brat. When he fights with his parents he thinks about running away or commiting sucide. These thoughts can be innocent enough to him, but they poisen me. I have friends, family, and a life i want to live. Sean is just useless for eveything, but some social skills. My dad even hates him, or that part of me.
 Axel and Sean tolerate eachother, but they both pick on Elk. I don't understand why they can't get along? They are all me? they constantly fight for dominancy over me. They try to control what makes me who I am.
 They confuse me and I always want to know more about them. I dream about their lifes. I talf to them im my head. I even put their personalities into games and books. Axel has always been the strangest.
 Sometimes I wish they could just go away and leave me alone. Other times I hope that they help me. I hate them so much, but they make me who I am today. It is a confusing life I have with them. I try to make the most of it though. I try to keep my sanity.
freakylishis freakylishis
13-15, M
Sep 19, 2012