I Am So Angry!

I loved him so much! I worked at his side to create as happy a life as we could have. He leaves me after years of abuse but acts as is HE is the victim! He wanders around playing "pity me I had to leave the love of my life." He did so much to destroy my self esteem. I doubt my every decision. I'm so conditioned that I have to fight with myself on a daily basis to not contact him. When I fail in that resolve I only end up more hurt. He either says something to blame me for his problems since our break up or he simply won't answer my calls. He's working to paint me as some kind of stalker though I'm not doing that. Those who know me look at him as if he's nuts but that doesn't stop him. He needs so badly to justify his behavior and abuse. I'm just so angry and want to yell at him for a change. I can't though because that then helps him justify his behavior. I don't know what to do with my hurt and anger. I don't know what to do.
inmysolitude inmysolitude
46-50, F
1 Response Dec 14, 2012

Yell at him and tell him you're worth more. Sounds cliche but you are worth more. I went through the same kind of thing. Abusive, mentally and physically and I didn't realize it for a year or more. And it's been years and it still affects me but I realize now that he was the shittiest person alive. I'm sure you're wonderful and I guarantee you will not find that until you let him know that you know that you're an amazing person. it will hurt. For god knows how long but honestly...believe me, it CAN NOT last forever. That's how I used to get by in very hard track practices and how I now get by emotionally. It can't last forever.