Please, Don't

I really like EP. I've made some wonderful friends, met some interesting people, read some thought-provoking stories as well as stories that made me laugh, cry, aroused me and moved me emotionally in many different ways.

When I joined EP it was to learn from others who were going through or had gone through similar experiences as I was going through at the time, some of which I'm still struggling with a bit. I've rediscovered my love of creative writing which is invaluable to me after writing marketing / communications materials for the last decade.

Finding real connections with some amazing people as well as the flirty, fun playfulness were benefits I didn't foresee and am so happy to have discovered. I've been on an emotional roller coaster it seems since joining this site, and it's good to really feel again. I don't think you can truly appreciate the highs without the lows. Two of my real-life friends joined the site because of my experiences on it, and I've made a few real-life friends from being here.

However, in the tradition of old-school Dennis Miller (although I'm nowhere close to his league) this letter is to vent frustration at one particular aspect of this site that's really getting on my nerves.

I am a woman confident in my sexuality. I love sex with a man I find attractive, a real man who can captivate my mind and command my body. Just because I love sex, am assertive about it, crave it and write about it, does not mean I want to have virtual sex with you. I've posted hundreds of stories now in the time I've been here, and the majority are not about sex. That's not all I am. I'm not a living, breathing sex toy, so please, stop messaging me wanting to know my kinky fetishes, my fantasies, asking me to suck your ****, asking me to let you **** me. If you read my profile, you'll know I'm so much more than that, and if you can't talk to me like a human being who deserves respect, then please, leave me the **** alone. And yes, I am a lady, and I use the word "****." Get over it.

Also, if you can't form coherent sentences or only message in text speak, please don't bother reaching out to me. I'd like the time I spend here to be mentally stimulating, fun, flirty and real. I'm not looking for sexual chat partners, especially if you can't have a discussion that isn't only about how horny you are or how horny I make you when you don't even know me, and you can't see my pictures. Also, I don't post nude photos, so if that's what you're looking for, I'm not your girl; please stop asking me to add you so you can see my photos.

OK. Piece said. I'm stepping down from my soapbox now. If you want to get to know me, I only let a few people in to see the real me, but I'm not discouraging comments, gestures, whiteboard posts or private messages. I really do like meeting new people and making new friends, and this site is wonderful for that. I intentionally keep my circle small because I like to interact with those in it somewhat regularly. I love witty banter, fun comment threads and interesting discussions in private messages. Just please, don't solicit me for cybersex. Thank you.

P.S. Similar to something a good EP friend said, don't call me sugar, honey, baby, babydoll, sex kitten or any other terms of endearment until we've had at least a few conversations and form some kind of connection. I think terms of endearment should be reserved for people who know each other a little better than "ur so hot. want 2 B in u. pls *** me."
livelaughlovedream3 livelaughlovedream3 41-45, F 62 Responses Jan 12, 2013

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I have made some crib notes for future reference, the terms of endearment I will have to work on, I have a tendency to say "Dear"..........


Thanks. I don't mind terms of endearment. I just don't like to be called them by people who don't know me at all. I prefer sincerity, not cheap words as come ons.

hi ! i agree ! not here for sex ! love to write stories and read other peoples stories !
have a great evening ! thanks for sharing !

Thanks for reading and commenting. I agree with you. :) Have a great evening as well!

Every time I read something like this, I so wish there hadn't been a need to write it, but having known many a lady who's been repeatedly addressed impertinently on here, it's a pity this does need saying.

I know, JMO, and thank you. These stories typically just make the writers feel better. Sadly most of those who solicit don't bother to read them or any of our stories. They just make incorrect assumptions that we're interested in helping them get off. No thank you.

What I don't understand, and maybe never will, is if they want to get off, there are places for just that all over the net, surely... Anyway... I 'm glad you feel better after writing it.

I don't understand that either, and I've told some of them as much. The response I've gotten is they want someone real not fake. Whatever. *sigh*

Tell them you're a man, pretending to be a woman and see if that helps?!

Haha. Oh, that's good. I like that and shall give it a try. ;)

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can we converse ?

Aren't we?

if somewhat wordy

Eh, I'm wordy at times. Other times I write lots of 10 and 15-word stories. Just depends.

so eloquent.

Thank you.

I wish i could heart this more!

Thank you. :)

Well said.

Thank you.

Just be aware that not all "Bad Boys" are shallow :)
Beneath some of us "Irreverent ones" there's more depth than we care to put on display for the masses :)

I don't think "bad boys" are shallow. I think some people can be shallow, but not everyone is. I've had the pleasure of developing some wonderful friendships with people I wasn't sure of at first but happily found more beneath the surface. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. However, if the first thing they ask about is sex, that's a pretty good indication of what they're after.

Initially indicating a preference for friendship "with benefits" is honest, transparent and should merit consideration for it's refreshingly candid factor ;0

*laughing* It's honest. That's true. :)

The more time I spend on EP, the more I want just friendship and don't want to waste time with fake sex chat. Bravo!!

Amen! I'm not here for that. It's empty and hollow, and I much prefer something real. Real friendships, real connections, reading and writing stories, having fun with friends in comment threads and whiteboard posts, talking with them and getting to know them better as people.

I don't begrudge those here for sex; I'm just not.

Confession time, I realized I was saying one thing here and another to 1happyprincess. Friends can still have fun.

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Stands up and begins applauding .

My goodness, thank you! :)

*scraps pervi message he was going to send you* ;-p

*giggles* Darn it.

WTF L3D3: I feel gipped you said if I added you to my circle you'd show me yours! Pfft I want my coupon back lol :)

Kidding sweetie <3 :)

Oh for Pete's sake. Did you look in my albums? *grumbles to herself about men* Besides, I'm still waiting to see yours...

I know. <3 :)

I added a few to my albums! Check out the section entitled mmm crap I can't remember it's in there though

....... ha made ya look :)

*dashes off to look...*

Haha - I like the photos.

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Very well said. There can be some great friendships made here. They can be serious, fun, flirty, and yes down right steamy. It's too bad a few sour apples rot the basket. I wish you best in your adventure here. Now off to read some of your stories.......

Thank you very much. :) Most of my stories are 10 and 15-word stories. There are some quizzes too because they\'re often silly fun. Sorry you\'ll need to weed through a lot to find narrative ones.

Thanks for the appreciation of my comment. I won\'t get through all of them but I\'ll peruse a few. I loved the \"can\'t get enough of you\'. Very well written, and I love your use of words to play the readers mind. I look forward to reading more of them.

Thank you. That\'s one of my favorites. If you like longer stories, you can read my \"Masquerade\" story (three parts). Here\'s a link to the first part.

hmmm does this mean if I refer to you as "Her Majesty "Babydoll Kitten" The Queen"
I might be crossing a line? ;) lol

Hmmm, yes, I\'d say you might. You may want to rethink your nickname for me... ;) Of course, I have a feeling you\'d probably like being shackled in the dungeon.

I can work with a good shackling ... but do you \"only\" shackle in the dungeon? ;) There may be other chambers more convenient for the Queen. (lol)

Oh, you do make me laugh. :) I appreciate that quality.

:) Good I\'m glad. I have been enjoying getting to know you. I hope we can become friends, you seem like an interesting woman that enjoys having some fun. :)

I\'m enjoying getting to know you as well. I don\'t know about interesting, although I suppose being a nutter could be considered interesting by some. ;) I do like to have fun, absolutely. Life\'s too good to be pissed off and bored.

I absolutely agree! If you are going to be in a mood, why on earth pick a bad one :)


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Very well said. I think I need a similar story.

Thank you. I'm sorry you need one too.

I'll admit that 95% of my profile is about sex, but I'm not here just to get off some random guy 'cause that's what he wants. No thanks. I can totally relate to your story.

Well area living breathing amazing treat you as a sex toy is demeaning and insulting!
I love this.. (sugar!) hee hee

Thank you, tiger. *pets his silky coat* I appreciate your kind words. Now, about that ride you offered me...

I am a tiger of my word...just name the time..this tiger is at your service...but I warn will need to hold on!!

Well, I'm usually better at letting go, but I'll hold on as best as I can.

well said. If this isn't understandable perhaps you need to use smaller words. I would think it is pretty clear.

Thank you. :)

Very well said. As others have pointed out, it's too bad you actually have to write something like this. While I'll admit to enjoying some adult level chat here, there is so much more to the people that make up EP. It's too bad the clowns can't see what they're missing.

I know many people enjoy adult chat via this site. I'm not against it; I just don't like it when people contact me looking for that. I rarely engage in it, and if I do it's because there's a spark of interest, friendship, a connection. That spark never ignites if they message me with "hru" or can't form coherent sentences.

I'm not here for sex, and I have no desire to converse with people who don't know how to write. If that makes me a snob or a *****, so be it.

You tell 'em!

Thanks. :)

How in the hell did I miss this??? Loved it and am actually laughing out loud! Xo

I don't know how you missed it. It's an older one, but a good one. Glad you liked it. :) xox

Erm, yep, that's clear enough. Pity the ladies need to write posts like this though. I'm glad I've not been solicited for cybersex. Must mean the men online who are posing as women aren't interested in me ;-)

Aww, poor JMO. I'll solicit you. How's this? U r hot. What sex u like? Want to kiss all over ur body.

No thanks, I don't want to kiss all over my body, I don't think I can reach ;-)

Haha. :D I'll reach 4 u.

Erm... Is there a polite way to refuse that. I don't suppose blushing would do it?!

Oh, now uv hurt my feelings. *cries in corner*

It worked! Hurrah :)

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I really enjoyed what you and Green wrote. I have my own theory about what sorts of people who ask for sex here on EP. Check out what I wrote and let me know your thoughts...

Thank you for your comment. I read your story and found it interesting. I commented there.

*bowing* SO well said! And I miss our beautiful mutual friend x

Thank you. I've had several friends leave the site recently, and it makes me sad. *sigh* Some I'm still in touch with via email, but it's just not the same.

Yes, their appearance on your circle feed no longer there,. Stories they have written now marked anonymous. Very sad...

Yes... :(

Ok Great got ur point :)


I agree mostly a Scorpio I totally love sex and am somewhat absorbed but most of my stories have nothing to do with sex they have to do with life in some little way.

Well, I'm an Aries, so I totally love sex, too, lol, but that's not my only interest or the reason I'm on EP. I can explore that side of me in some of my stories here, though, but my stories are varied.

I admire you. You said it like it is. I wish I could write as well as you. thank you for writing your story

Thank you for reading, commenting and for the compliment. :)

So...You really don't want to have sex with a 62 year old, fat, married old man? Imagine that!

What if I (lied) told you I'm a hot, 6' 2" hard bodied, dark-haired, deep eyed, 22-year old with six-pack abs and who speaks with a French accent mon ami? 8-))

As long as it's not a cheesy French accent, I'll go with the fantasy, lol. ;)

Sorry, but the accent is terribly cheesy.

I guess I will have to find some sex kitten who believes she is a living, breathing sex toy who wants to share kinky fetishes, fantasies, and will enjoy pictures of some other guy's "monster member." I'd never send a real photo as I do not enjoy being the subject of laughter and derision. But I will always remember you fondly in my fantasies 8-)p

Good luck on your quest. I'm sure there are many such women on EP; I just don't happen to be one of them. Also, I think your fantasy age should be a bit older. I find men in their 30s have experience and a smidge more maturity to not be selfish in bed. ;)

(You're so self-depricating - I doubt anyone would laugh at you.)

I sincerely hope you know that all of the above was offered tongue-in-cheek.

Completely! I thought I should say something about that since I thought my message was too literal of a response. I do know you're joking.

The lowest edge of my fantasy age is about 45, and no, I never confuse fantasy with reality. In fact, my wife is my one and only fantasy object, although I do sometimes enjoy recalling us both in our younger years.

You're lucky your spouse is your fantasy object. That's pretty amazing. Good for you!

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I wish I could write this well!

Thank you.

Very well said! Unfotunately I can sympathize. Some just don't know cooth.

I agree. Thank you for reading and commenting. Good luck!

Welcome. You too!

Well said, I'm new here but I get you! You rock! I'm sure that you don't always rock at home, most of us don't that's what makes this forum so enticing for me anyway.

Um, thanks, I think. I do rock at home, at least I like to think I do. Hmmm... :)