Punished For Being Responsible

I feel like I'm being punished for being the responsible child. My brother dropped out of private college and sent my parents and himself into debt because of all his student loans (parents were co-signed). Of course he never pays his loans and the burden is put on my parents who have a hard enough time with money without my brother making it worse.

Because of my brother being irresponsible and self centered his entire life my parents can barely pay their own bills and afford food. This is where I am getting annoyed. I love my parents to no end but they refuse to tell my brother no when he repeated comes to them asking for help because he cannot pay for something because he wasted all his money on partying. All my mom keeps saying is she could never let one of her babies go hungry if she could help it.

The problem is now that my brother has stopped asking for help as much my parents are still stuck with a ruined credit and his left over loans. Mom has came to me multiple times in the past year and asked for money because unlike my brother I have a real job and work around 36 hours a week while going to college full-time. I feel like I can't say no to her because I know what a hard time they are having but now she owes me close to $2000 and is still asking for more. She says she will pay me back when she has the money but I know very well that is never going to happen. I know she feels horrible that she is having to rely on me but it doesn't change the fact that instead of filing bankruptcy (which they are more than qualified to do) she keeps getting money from her 18 year old daughter who is trying to save every penny possible.

My parents are constantly comparing me to my brother, saying how happy they are that I am responsible and hard working. But it seems like every time I turn around I am paying for my brothers mistakes either literally or figuratively. Also my parents are practically holding me up on a pedestal as their good child to the point they are doing nothing but setting me up to fail. I'm scared to death to make a single mistake or to say no to them just once because it will break their hearts.

I am sick of being punished for being more responsible than my older brother. I should not have to clean up after him or make up for his wrong-doings. I AM NOT PERFECT! I want to say no when I'm asked for money. I want to tell them I can't get straight A's in every class. I want to be allowed to make mistakes without feeling like its the end of the world. I want my parents to see me as more than their second chance at a good kid.
anharvey anharvey
18-21, F
2 Responses Feb 10, 2013

I say make a mistake then when they get angry with you disown them. Part of the problem is that you are going along with this. You need to show you are human and if they do not like it then tough *******.

You aren't alone, I've been going through the same exact thing. I love my family and would do anything for them, but it feels like my life isn't even mine anymore, between missing classes to support them or being crucified if I don't, it's exhausting. All there is to do is finish school and hope for the best, I suppose. Good luck, remember everything is temporary.