The Start of a New Routine......

June 5, 2007

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Michelle and I have agreed to give this relationship a serious chance and this periodic.... hopefully daily..... entry is one of the efforts I am putting forth to make this thing work. The truth is I love her very much and I would seriously like to have a life with her. She is beautiful and strong and she makes me strive for better things in my life.

All in all.... today was a good day. I went to six flags with tom and we had a pretty good time. We rode some great rides and I got to experience a one of a kind roller coaster called "el toro". It was pretty thrilling. I finally witnessed tom riding kingda ka, it was fun to say the least. He almost **** himself. We were only in the park for a few hours..... it wasnt very crowded at all. I believe the longest we waited for a ride was about 15 minutes..... so we got a chance to get on everything wanted. It was fun. The ride home was filled with some uncomfortable conversation. Both tom and i feel like victims in our relationships, but after taking a closer look, he is much more of a victim than i. Nate, tom's son, has a mother who is worthless. The thing is, though, Tom will not let the relationship go. Lori (nate's mom) has made it clear that her feelings for tom are not romantic at all.... in fact she has moved on to another man. I wish I could find the words to get through his brain that life goes on without her. She always treated him badly anyway. She is a *****. He can find so much better. the thing is, tom is scared of life----real life---- he is afraid that the obstacles facing parenthood and life on his own are too many to clear. He can do it, i have faith in him. Tom looks up to me, I hope i can give him the very best support and maybe impart some wisdom on him. (if i have any) :o)

Now on to my relationship! I got home from six flags and mowed my first lawn in our brand new home. I felt accomplished when finished.... even though the setting Michelle's father said to use on the lawn mower was too high. the yard hardly looked cut, but you could at least tell that i tried. Also.... I cleaned up the house, did some laundry, and packed AJ's lunch before michelle got home. I think I wanted her to feel relaxed and not too overwhelmed when she got home from a long day. I spoke to her before she picked up the kids from their father's and she seemed excited to hear that i was home early. I spoke to her a second time after she picked up the kids and she was curious if her ex-husband (not finalized mind you) had finally moved on to another woman. You see, Michelle came after me immediately after she left Anthony (husband). I was unaware of her feelings towards me. She did a pretty good job of making me aware that her intentions were to win me over and spend the rest of our lives together. After some convincing, I agreed. We should have waited...... we should have been a little wiser...... sometimes i regret jumping into this so quickly. She was clearly not ready for another relationship and I was in the middle of a disastrous romance with a woman I would rather not talk about. I regress---- here we are now, 17 months later and in serious trouble. We made the ridiculous decision to buy this huge house that we may not be able to afford. Our relationship is "on the rocks" and that is putting lightly........... I am done for the night. I have plenty more to say so I think I will be back tomorrow..... lets hope so!

drwstown76 drwstown76
26-30, M
Jun 5, 2007