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I Am So Pissed Off, My Husband Is a Jerk!

Last night I went to my sisters bachelorette party. He went to work. He was scheduled at a time he did not like. I was too drunk to drive, so I called his work and told his work mate to tell him I will be going there in a cab and I will see him soon, meet up with him so he can drive me home. well then the location was closed and I called again to find out the new one and they said he was already gone, so I had to get another cab. He doesn't have a cell phone. I almost was stranded. When I go thome he was very rude and a jerk to me, I told him you are getting a phone, this is not going to ever happen again. I am tired of not being able to ****** contact him when I need to and him not being there when i need him to be. I narrowly escaped having to sleep on the grass all night and he didn';t even care! He didn't say I love you, he didn't say welcome back, he acted like me coming home suddenly interrupts his night, when he SHOULD be welcoming me. At least he dragged me onto the couch, that shows at least a tiny bit of compassion. When I woke up, I went upstairs to the bedroom and he was half awake. I wanted to see if he would say I love you or smile or come closer to me or anything and to my dismay he did NONE of that. He talked about how he had a meeting at 10 am and I said I need to pick up my car from the parking garage. He acts like last night...I come to be around him because he is my husband, and it is like I'm intruding on something when i was hoping he'd welcome me being around. Then on top of that he complains about some sort of thing he doesn't like and blames me for making it worse...sort of an "if it weren't for you" sort of attitude, like, "I don't need you here you're distracting from me hating my problems go away".  On top of that, he doesn't want to share anything with me in anyway, as if he suddenly forgot what sharing means. He's being icy, rude, insensitive, curt, and ignores what I say then accuses me of not telling him what I JUST told him that he ignored. When we get to my car I say "thanks for dropping me off." Waiting for him to say I love you first. No way am I going to say it to him if the response isn't meant and is a blowoff. Might as well not say it. I'm not going to be always the one saying it first every time. Making me even more pissed off, he doesn't say it. So i think, **** you. He acts like everything he has to do is more important than what I have to do and what I say doesn't matter and if I try to talk about his stuff with him he acts like everything I have to say about it is pointless and irrelevant. GGGGGG!!!!! I am so mad I hate him ahhh!!!! Since there is according to him nothing he hates more than meetings, I privately hope he has the worst metting from hell that can happen!!!!mwaha!! when he comes back and tries to talk about it I'll ignore him and act like he is interrupting whatever bullshit I'm doing.  Which for him, involve sitting on the couch doing next to nothing, except pot smoking which you'd THINK would put him in a GOOD mood and make things fun, but no it's just he gets irritated and it's like his response to irritation---what a horrible use for something otherwise fun, calming, and happy... anyway, I wonder how long before he figures out that he is getting a taste of his own medicine. I am not going to make any effort to be around him and instead will be distant from him. Now it is HIS turn to be the one looking for me, saying I love you and having a mumbled indifferent response or having to repeat it, HIS turn to walk into a room to be with ME and I will be the one acting like him being there doesn't matter.

Just he wait!!!

SummerWind18 SummerWind18 26-30, F 13 Responses Aug 30, 2009

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Baby your life isn't any better if you are true to yourself ! You are just avoiding conflict and drama.I don't know what you look like but nobody deserves to be abused in this way.marriage isn't about it being all about him and never about you. One day.your eyes will be opened and you will realize how much of your life you have missed.marriage is a person to come home to ..to be concerned and ask how your day was.or to maybe have dinner made or make dinner for you so you don't have to....not carry out either ...but something.he fixed just for you.we all take for granted every now and then the other person. A.REAL. man will.admit it and talk to you and even surprise you with a weekend getaway just you and him.or anwhole day of treatment at a REALLY nice spa.<br />
My friends who are girls tell me I can't treat women like than nowadays.seems I get my heart broke.I have learned if you don't love t don't hurt.there are a lot of married women out there just like you looking for a.Guy to treat them like they have.never been treated but want to have that for themselves<br />
If you want to talk more with me send me a private message.if nothing.else I will be there just to listen to you vent about this.if you don't get it out either by the time he gets he head out if his *** yland wants to try you wont want to or you get fed up finally and leave and he promises to change..he should have.changed last year.I would NEVER had been that upset as he was.sounds like he may be getting some on the side.<br />
I mean it about talking to me.I have/ had a very very controlling wife I finally got away from.and I.feel so much better about myself and my life.I'm happy again.I am not seeing anybody ..I would like to butbi stay busy and do things I like even if by myself.I've watched many a beautiful sunsets by myself.looked at the moon and stars..I live.on my 48 acre farm away from the city.I build me a bonfire and sit by myself and enjoy it hiking is my favorite next to horseback.riding. don't give him that control.and your happiness by not.saying anything just because.you know f you do he will start a fight. Be.strong .. cowgirl up :) from cowboy :)<br />
I hope this helps you and others also.if not let me know ..cowboy

Baby your life isn't any better if you are true to yourself ! You are just avoiding conflict and drama.I don't know what you look like but nobody deserves to be abused in this way.marriage isn't about it being all about him and never about you. One day.your eyes will be opened and you will realize how much of your life you have missed.marriage is a person to come home to ..to be concerned and ask how your day was.or to maybe have dinner made or make dinner for you so you don't have to....not carry out either ...but something.he fixed just for you.we all take for granted every now and then the other person. A.REAL. man will.admit it and talk to you and even surprise you with a weekend getaway just you and him.or anwhole day of treatment at a REALLY nice spa.<br />
My friends who are girls tell me I can't treat women like than nowadays.seems I get my heart broke.I have learned if you don't love t don't hurt.there are a lot of married women out there just like you looking for a.Guy to treat them like they have.never been treated but want to have that for themselves<br />
If you want to talk more with me send me a private message.if nothing.else I will be there just to listen to you vent about this.if you don't get it out either by the time he gets he head out if his *** yland wants to try you wont want to or you get fed up finally and leave and he promises to change..he should have.changed last year.I would NEVER had been that upset as he was.sounds like he may be getting some on the side.<br />
I mean it about talking to me.I have/ had a very very controlling wife I finally got away from.and I.feel so much better about myself and my life.I'm happy again.I am not seeing anybody ..I would like to butbi stay busy and do things I like even if by myself.I've watched many a beautiful sunsets by myself.looked at the moon and stars..I live.on my 48 acre farm away from the city.I build me a bonfire and sit by myself and enjoy it hiking is my favorite next to horseback.riding. don't give him that control.and your happiness by not.saying anything just because.you know f you do he will start a fight. Be.strong .. cowgirl up :) from cowboy :)<br />
I hope this helps you and others also.if not let me know ..cowboy

1. we have a lot in common. The reason why he is being a jerk in the story has nothing to do with what we have in common, it has to do with the actions he took or did not take.<br />
2. At no point did I say it was just sex and attraction, I said it was MORE than sex and attraction...where are you finding that other part? It's not there.<br />
3. Love is the reason me and my husband are married. It is unconditional, that is why I put up with him and he puts up with me, and we both have our good and bad qualities, our good and bad days. This story was relating about a bad day I had, and a time I was angry at him. <br />
4. We got to know each other over a long time. We moved in together before we were engaged, we lived together a year and a half, then were engaged for another year, we have now been married for about 2 years. We would not have stayed together if we didn't know much about each other. I could totally win on newlyweds, haha. We know all of each others' dirt too, the deeper secrets, and also the personal life experiences. <br />
5. We started dating because our first conversation was the best conversation of my life. We could talk for hours non-stop. <br />
6. I never ran away, I moved out. Running away would imply that I went up and left with no warning and no place to stay. I gave notice, she knew I was moving, and I had found an apartment. That's not the same thing as running away.<br />
7. Go back and read #4 again. We were not quick. Also, I was 24 when we married and he was 32. We had both dated quite a lot before meeting. I suppose "quick" is relative. To me, after a year you should fairly know someone. In the past I had many short-term relationships because I moved fast, the reason beign I got to know everything about someone very fast, because I was very open about myself, and I talk a lot as anyone who knows me will tell you. Conversations with me get deep and personal fairly quickly. I couldn't stay with people who were not complex, because I would get bored. My husband, like myself, is deep and complex, and so I couldn't get bored, plus he had fascinating interests and hobbies, which we had shared. I have always liked men who, no matter how much you know about them there is always more to know, or more to them I guess. Because, I like talking, lol. When I moved in with him, I was stricken by the way he decorated his apartment exactly the same way as my room at my mom's had been decorated(keep in mind I lived with her quite a long time, and was an adult when I moved out). The exact same art, we owned jewelry that looked exactly the same, we had the same books...it was like moving in with myself. I thought, yay, a twin! Not so much...on the other hand, if we were really EXACTLY the same then it could get boring. The differences that we have, are ones where one of us has a surplus of some trait that makes up for the definciency of that same trait in the other. Putting it simply, we are complements. Like puzzle pieces that fit together. He has advantages that make up for my disadvantages and I have advantages that make up for his, we help each other out. Our similarities are the kind that feed off of each other, where we will have the same opinion but one of us has a greater extreme of that same opinion and so it is like we balance each other. So, while sometimes our differences are frustrating and get in the way, the influence that we exert over each other ends up making both of us more balanced. That transition is not always a smooth one, and we both change a lot. He picks up my habits and mannerisms and I pick up his. Sometimes, it is not like we are changing into each other, sometimes we maintain our originality by having "my thing" versus "your thing" like siblings. We have a very interesting, unique relationship, and you can't really compare it to other relationships, because as people we are each not like a lot of other people to start with, and our separation from other people is one thing we related on. Some qualities of our relationship or features would be the intelligence or mental stimulation factor, the spiritual factor(we're both pagans, with him having an eastern flavor and myself more western, although we are sort of meeting in the middle over time), and the self-development factor--our relationship has changed us both. <br />
We both have a diagnosis, mine is bipolar disorder and his is asperger's syndrome (primarily, it doesn't include comorbids which are of less influence). We are both artistic and creative, we are both spiritual, and we were both gothic when we met(he is not, now). As such, our interaction could almost be studied as an experiment, we are untraditional.<br />
To put it simply, don't judge our marriage without a degree in psychology and subcultural studies of sociology, and an understanding of soul karma and soul "plans", otherwise, you will be wrong about us. You are unliklely to even come close to understanding us as individuals, but put us together...<br />
you don't think on the same wavelength as me enough to come close to understanding.<br />
I forgive you though, because it's not like it would be an easy thing to do anyway. I think it's nice that you want to analyze our marriage and us, but you are over-simplifying it and not taking into consideration that it has individual quirks and doesn't follow the same formula other relationships often do. It is like a combination of many models of relationships and marriages you might have seen.<br />
We come from the same socio-economic background, yet we come from different family dynamics. While our interests are very similar, our personalities are pretty different, or maybe I should call it temperament. <br />
Now that you know a little bit more about us, analyze away. But be ob<x>jective and ba<x>se it on educated information.

huh? What's wrong with marrying a girlfriend? Marry whoever you lovee whatever the gender. I bet you could find a woman just like my husband if you want to. Actually, he and I are quite similar, although not as similar as I thought when we first met. We do have a lot in common though. Personality and temperament is not gender-ba<x>sed. At the end of the day, it's just sex and attraction that are...marriage is marriage. And marriage is ba<x>sed on more than just sex and attraction. I think that any gender can be married to any gender and it has the same chances of being good or bad as any other marriage. If you are getting married, be HAPPY!! Don't let people ruin your happiness with their judgmentalness.

You didn't read it carefully. I got home by taking a cab, however, I had to call a cab TWICE. I did not have to depend on him, I was choosing to have him drive me home as a way of saving money--cabs are expensive--and also because I love him. I don't remember my exact reasoning, being drunk, but everyone knows that a shorter cab ride is cheaper than a long one and I was trying to shorten the ride by getting a ride from the bar to his car and then have him drive me the rest of the way home. I do not remember that night too well now at all because this was written over a year ago. I am a very independent woman and our finances are separate. You will find out though that when you are in love/married that you prefer to be with your significant other rather than alone or with a random stranger at any chance, and that the older you get the more interested you are in saving money and convenience for yourself. Plus, who thinks clearly when drunk. Looking back, I am amazed I could think clearly enough to formulate a plan and not give up when it failed, drunk and in the middle of the night...I coped with that quite well I'd say. Most drunk people male or female would've given up and passed out on the spot and god knows what else. I'm amazed I managed to figure out what was going on! lol

reading ur story... y can't u take the cab home urself???? if im a guy n u r my wife, i would prob not be bothered with u. im working, and bringing home the bacon. u r having fun in a party and drunk. totally not able to relate to u. i drink more than my hubby, if too drunk, i'll just take a cab home. i dun have to depend on him. im my own gal.

I am not sure I could if I tried, actually...

If you will enjoy it yes

you would want me to take it out on you???? wtf??

Wow, you are so great, there is nothing better than a magnificent woman's anger, if you ever want a man to ***** to pieces online remember me, I love it You can take your wrath out on someone who will enjoy it and not throw it right into the middle of your own world<br />
<br />
I wish you all the love respect and fulfillment and satisfaction in the world for 2011<br />
<br />
slave4bdsmwomen

a little better, actually. But he still seems to think his problems or his schedule is more important than mine is. So, we have our problems, but we fight less. I am able to predict what he will do better, which allows me to avoid negative situations since I already can predict his reaction. I am not really sure I want to talk about our current problems. there are just as many problems as there used to be, I just am better at dealing with him...and them.

How are things a year later?

I do turn to my faith. Already threw black pepper at the door. I am going to ask the goddess to come and intervene now.