Okay, here goes. I need your thoughts on this, because I am not sure what is the right thing. First of all, my husband is an alcoholic who is trying very hard to get an entire week's sobriety under his belt. He has been trying for almost three months and can only go three or four days at a time. Then he just goes back to drinking every day for several days. I am sure some of you have experience on both sides of this problem. Now on to the dilemma.
One of my closest friends just doesn't get it. She told me since he had been so good for almost a whole week, I should reward him by buying him a six-pack or bottle of vodka. His health has started to suffer with the alcohol, so I really am supportive of his stopping. He is diabetic also and the alcohol is just plain bad for him. I get really annoyed with my friend because she just doesn't get it. Her husband and my husband are good friends from way back (before me). When my DH goes to their house she gets out the Crown and offers him a shot or two. She even offers him candy! I am so mad at her I could spit. I think a true friend would not get it out and offer it to him, especially if he did not even ask for it. (Which he did not) I don't think she is being a friend to him or me, or our sons for that matter, since they are also pulling for dad to go sober.
Am I wrong for being so mad at her? If my DH had asked for a beer and she gave him one I could not really blame her for that, but he did not ask for anything. She got it out and offered it! I guess that makes me the big bad wife who "won't let" her husband drink, and her the sympathetic friend who knows that "just one little drink won't hurt." Her dad was an alcoholic, her sister-in-law is an alcoholic, and her sister who died in a car wreck was an alcoholic. I would think she would get it. I am tired of trying to explain things to her that she just can't understand.
Okay, let me have it. Good or bad, just try not to get ugly or you'll hurt my feelings. This is a very important issue. She has not apologized or anything. Oh yeah, and she gives him some of her anxiety medication to take along with it, then drive home. GRRRRR. Thank you for any constructive advice.